Maybe This Time
by Jordan202
Summary: Post 14x12. Amelia tries to obliterate how messy her personal life is, focusing instead on alternatives to put her surgical plan into action. As she runs out of ideas, Owen might have just what she needs. The thing is, working alongside her soon to be ex-husband on the project might actually add to their problems. Or could it actually bring out the perfect solution?
1. Chapter 1

**Maybe This Time**

Amelia nervously tapped her fingers on the working desk, too anxious for the computer results. During the past week, as she watched her patient being submitted to radiotherapy to treat a recurrent tumor, the neurosurgeon had struggled to come up with a viable plan that might allow her team to properly fund their ambitious plan.

While she knew the procedure was a sort of a Hail Mary and had its flaws, Amelia was desperately in need of something that would give her patient hope.

Maybe the reason behind all that was that _she_ needed something to give her hope.

Lately, her life had been nothing but a mess. After a failed marriage, which she refused to think much about, and a brain tumor that had given Amelia answers about her impulsivity but had also served to confuse her feelings even more, the neurosurgeon longed for something that would be good and actually help someone. It was actually easier to focus her energy on the study for Kimmie's tumor and devote her entire time to it than trying to figure out the mess that her personal life had become.

"So, have you come up with anything yet?"

Amelia's thoughts were distracted by the sound of Alex Karev's words and she saw the look of defeat on his face. Much to her own dismay, he also hadn't been successful to get any kind of support for their project. It pretty much seemed like a dead end for them. Even Bello and DeLuca were losing motivation and Amelia couldn't blame them. There were several other projects out there that were soaring and the eager interns probably would rather spend their time actually learning something than staying immersed on a computer all day doing research.

Alex gazed at the neurosurgeon and saw the consternation on her face.

"It looks like we're really going to lose this battle," Karev commented, obviously unhappy about it.

Amelia hated that situation. And she hated what she was about to propose. But then she thought of Kimmie's joy and the girl's happiness at sharing her gift with the world. Something had to be done.

"Not yet," Amelia said with determination, looking into Alex's eyes. "I have an idea…"

.

"You have to be kidding me," Thomas Koracick's annoyance was obvious not only in his voice, but also on the look on his face and the way he walked, "you have to be _freaking_ kidding me."

"Look, Tom, I…"

"YOU tricked me here saying you had a groundbreaking project for me," Koracick nearly hissed, looking at his former's student with impatience. "I actually bailed on presenting a case at the American College of Surgeons and got on a flight to this hell hole because I _believed_ you and this is what you have for me?" he frowned, absolutely irritated. "HIFU? Are you kidding me?"

Amelia sighed heavily, knowing she shouldn't be surprised. A couple of days before, she had gotten in touch with her former boss at Johns Hopkins. Tom Koracick ran the neurosurgical department there and had more resources at his disposal than anyone else she could remember. A few weeks prior to that, Tom had flown over to operate on her brain tumor and he'd even stuck around to help her get her department back on track once she was recovered. Before he could return to Hopkins, the two of them had slept together but Amelia knew it hadn't really meant anything. Not to her, at least, and she supposed that not for Tom either.

For Amelia, it had been all about having a rebound after her complicated separation from her husband. It still sounded funny to think of Owen as that, since they weren't even living in the same house anymore… But until their divorce was finalized, Amelia knew that technically, that was what he was.

And for Tom, sleeping with her had probably been about his own ego. Amelia knew he was a womanizer and even though during her residency the guy had been extremely professional, never had he hidden the fact that if Amelia ever gave him an opening, he wouldn't hesitate to sleep with her. She had never really been interested, especially while he was her boss. But now, the two of them were at a leveled position, both ran neurosurgical departments and Amelia had impulsively done it. Physically, it had felt okay, but emotionally, Amelia knew it hadn't really meant anything.

"It has never been tested on brain tumors before…" Amelia tried to reason and hopefully convince him.

"Oh, why do you think that is?" Koracick sarcastically asked, looking at her as if she should have known better. HIFU, or _high frequency focused ultrasound_ was a non-invasive method that recently was being studied to treat tumors. That wasn't exactly news in the surgical word.

"No one has really studied it on brain tumors…" Amelia sheepishly gave it another try.

"Yes, exactly!" Koracick interrupted her. "I am sure I don't need to tell you that even if you successfully blast tumor cells with this new technology there is just no way you can guarantee clean margins and without the full, resection the likelihood that the tumor…"

"…will grow back is high, I know, I know," Amelia sighed, hating to admit he was right. On tumors that could be later operated or managed with follow up, the HIFU method seemed like a good option. But for brain tumors, there were no guarantees it would work on the long run. "But it could help her buy some time and who knows even…"

"This is exactly why your project got rejected," during the brief time he'd been at the hospital, Thomas had been brought to speed on the contest and saw the few projects that had made it. "It's not cost effective, you should know that" he condescendingly rolled his eyes at her. "It doesn't matter how noble your intentions are, Shepherd. Haven't you learned this by now? Why would anyone in their right minds invest money on a study that promises no different outcome than a partial resection would?"

"You're being extremely pessimistic!" Amelia lost her patience with him. "You're putting all these obstacles when you've barely given me a chance to try." She understood his frustration but he was throwing a bucket of ice water on her plans and that infuriated her.

Especially because she couldn't refute any of his arguments.

"Look, you know I would love to help you if I could but my hands are tied," Koracick sighed heavily, regaining some of his calmness. "Trust me, I deal with this kind of debacle all the time and I know you desperately want to help this kid, but it's better if you just play it clean with the family instead of playing God here, okay?" Amelia scowled, hating to feel like once again he was the professor and she the inexperienced intern, but at the moment, it was exactly how she felt. "I have promised Catherine I'd have dinner with her. She wants me to properly meet her husband," the neurosurgeon rolled his eyes, as if he was dreading the idea. "I am sorry I can't help you."

Amelia watched as Tom Koracick left, hating the fact she couldn't really hate him for what he was doing. In his place, she probably would have done the same. And now she was back to square one.

For the rest of the day, Amelia stayed immersed in her project, trying to think about any loopholes she could fix to make the idea more tempting for Koracick. She knew he would be in town at least until the following day, so she was racing the clock.

After hours reading in front of the computer, too focused on what she was studying, the click of the door handle started Amelia, causing her to nearly jump from her chair at the unexpected interruption.

"Uh, sorry…" a deep male voice spoke in a low tone. "I had no idea the room was taken."

Amelia looked up to meet the eyes of the man she was married to. Other than the brief, awkward encounter at the house when she'd walked in on him having breakfast with another woman, they hadn't really been alone in the same room ever since the day they'd returned their wedding bands to each other.

"It's okay," Amelia rubbed her tired eyes, shocked to realize it was nearly midnight. "I was just reading and lost track of time."

"I was printing some papers earlier today and I think I left my phone charger here somewhere," Owen justified his presence, pointing at his dead phone. "I've been looking for it everywhere and realized I last used it here."

Amelia got up from her chair and helped him look, scrolling through the files and forgotten objects in the room that was mainly used by interns and residents.

For the following seconds, the neurosurgeon unsuccessfully tried to find the charger, but the lingering silence was growing uncomfortable by the second.

"So…" she cleared her throat, eager to make small talk, "you're on the liver project, right?" Amelia distractedly asked. She wasn't really sure. "How is that working out?"

"I was actually trying for a clot factor study but I dropped it," Owen answered with a shrug. He saw the question on her face and elaborated, "research is not really my thing."

"Yeah, you've always been more of a do-er than a planner," Amelia smiled.

The neurosurgeon failed to realize at the time of her comment just how personal she sounded. But Owen captured the intimacy it implied and he avoided thinking much about it, choosing instead to focus on his search.

"Why clot factors, though?" Amelia asked after a few seconds of silence.

"I had read about this chained Polymer that was isolated not long ago," Owen explained. "It basically adheres to hepatocytes and you can sort of choose the cell you're working with."

"Really?" Amelia frowned heavily, uncontrollably assaulted by ideas. "You mean like a selective binding protein?"

"Yeah, there is a full catalogue of those at Polymer that have been isolated but even though it sounds good, it's not very viable for out type of research," Owen added. "It has an extremely high cost and the patents are just insanely hard to get."

"Can you tell me more about your clot factor work?" Amelia asked. The more information she had, the better would be to fit all puzzles together.

"Uh… Okay," Owen saw the eagerness on her face and agreed. It was late and he was tired, but if that was going to make her happy, he could stick around for a few more minutes.

Very patiently, Owen sat down near a computer and logged into a system. For the following minutes, he thoroughly explained Amelia about the idea he'd had. During the entire time, it became kind of hard to ignore her presence. Especially when she stood so close like that. Was it just him, or did her hair smell especially good today?

"This is actually very helpful," Amelia leaned forward to examine the computer screen a little closer, unaware of the reactions she was causing on the man sitting right next to her.

Owen closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He really shouldn't be having those thoughts. Well technically, he should, because the woman responsible for invoking those feelings was his wife, but a thousand complications and unspoken issues stood in the way and he really didn't want to deal with his feelings.

"Do you mind if I print this?" Amelia looked at him with expectation in her eyes.

Owen knew her well enough to realize she was up to something. And judging by the look on her face, it was good.

"Sure," he instantly agreed, satisfied that his abandoned project had served at least to the purpose of making her smile like that again. He hadn't seen in ever since the day she'd left their home and his life. "Feel free to use it."

"Thank you," Amelia shyly bit her lower lip and made eye contact with him, seeing the warmth in his eyes. She smiled brightly and tried to ignore the way her heart accelerated when he smiled back. "Good night, Owen."

"Good night," he reluctantly left the room, knowing that it was the wisest decision.

.

"So you're telling me you want me to fund a multi million project in which you'll basically buy the most expensive protein I've ever seen so you can blast it with high frequency waves?" Tom Koracick frowned, looking at Amelia with a mix of surprise and admiration.

"Precisely," Amelia smiled widely, struggling to contain her excitement, "but the real catch here is that, when I blast those cells, the whole tumor will be gone."

"I don't know this is insane or purely genius," Koracick commented, skimming through the paper that had her detailed project.

Amelia had spent the last ten hours coming up with the plan. Her body was tired, but her mind was too alert and excited for her to want to sleep.

"Where did you get the idea?" Koracick frowned, hating that he didn't have it first.

"A colleague inspired me," Amelia confessed. "He was going for something along those lines and I adapted his idea to mine."

"Get him here," Koracick unceremoniously demanded.

Amelia desperately needed Tom to embark on the project, because she depended on him to finance it. So she decided not to refute. Grabbing her cell phone, she called Owen, gently asking if he could meet her in one of the conference rooms.

About fifteen minutes later, the trauma surgeon joined them, supposing Amelia needed help with something they'd discussed the previous night. But to his surprise, he found her sitting next to Thomas Koracick, the same guy who had taken out her tumor.

Before Owen could ask any questions, Amelia started to fill him on what she'd spent the entire night working with. After Owen had introduced her to the Polymer idea, she had basically filtered through a huge catalog, finding the heaviest binding protein she could that would link to a receptor present only in cancerous cells. Those would heavily increase the mass of the tumor, including the tissue near the margins. Then, once with the ultrasound technique she was working on, it would be possible to work with the HIFU at a frequency that not only would kill the sick cells, but also make sure they had clean margins. Without the heavy Polymer, it was hard to tell and adjust the machine to sort out the diseased tissues from the healthy one, but once Amelia made the cancer cells much heavier, chances of success were incredibly higher.

"This is a brilliant idea," he stated with conviction after taking a look at her initial proposal. "But the cost would be beyond the charts," Owen affirmed, certain it would be a problem. "I mean, this Polymer chain you selected costs nearly twice as much as the one I had. It's going to increase the cost of the project. And it's not guaranteed it'll work."

Amelia was aware of that. She on purpose kept silence, sneakily turning her head to the side very slowly until her eyes finally met Tom's.

"Give me a concrete reason why I should invest my money on this," the arrogant surgeon demanded, raising his eyebrows.

"I am going to make history treating gliomas. And if you don't fund my idea, I am going to sell it to someone who is going to make it happen." Amelia raised her eyebrows in defiance. "And if I do that, your name won't be on the paper when it gets published," she sneakily reminded him, knowing nothing would infuriate Koracick more than letting an opportunity pass. "You'll lose."

Tom narrowed his eyes, studying Amelia's features. She was serious, he knew it. Rolling his eyes, the prestigious surgeon finally made up his mind.

"Fine, but you're going to report to me. I am going to be here when we use the HIFU for the first time. My name goes before yours on the project," he dared her, seeing on Amelia's scowl that she hated it. "And keep this guy, he clearly is more familiar than us with the Polymer thing."

"No, thanks," Owen straightforwardly answered. He wouldn't mind doing it if it was for Amelia, but he had never sympathized with the guy who had once been her mentor and he definitely wasn't going to be a part of something that would benefit him more than the true author of the project.

"You've got to be kidding me," Amelia protested Koracick's terms. "Hell no. Your name is not going before mine."

"These are my conditions, it's give or take," Koracick said in a final tone.

"God… I hate you!" Amelia complained. But she knew she couldn't give it up. Koracick was her only chance to keep the project going and most importantly, actually give Kimmie a chance. The hard work was just beginning and she would need a lot of help, but it all started with the funding.

"I have a plane to catch, you keep me updated," Koracick wickedly winked in her direction, loving that he was coming out on top. And just as he was reaching the door, Amelia was collecting her stuff and Owen was logging out the computer, the controversial surgeon turned around, unable to help himself. "If you thought that sleeping with me would give you special treatment, you better think again, Shepherd," he smirked, knowing he was causing a scene. Even though Amelia hadn't said it, Koracick had recognized the guy in the room as the husband she'd recently separated from. He was glad he was leaving, because fixing marital drama wasn't his thing. He was much better at causing it. "Email me as soon as you have phase one initiated."

Koracick exited without another word, leaving Amelia in absolute shock. Not because he had been inappropriate, rude and extremely unprofessional. She was used to his teasing and didn't mind it when it was just the two of them. But at that moment, her heart was racing and she had an awful feeling in her stomach.

Amelia knew that, by the time she'd slept with Koracick, she and Owen had already broken things off. She also knew that he had no right to judge her on it, considering he had pretty much slept with the first woman he found right after that.

But she was well aware of how possessive men could be. Especially men like Owen. And she recalled just how they'd agreed to blame all the problems of their marriage on her brain tumor, as if her feelings for him had been questionable while Owen didn't really have a similar excuse to justify why he'd broken the marriage…

"Owen, I…"

"Good luck with your project," he violently shut off the computer without waiting for it to properly turn off.

It was obvious he was furious and Amelia got instantly mad at that too.

"You can't be serious, right?" she asked him just as Owen was about to exit through the door. "Are you really that upset that I had a one night stand? Really?" she followed him to the door, hoping Owen would calm down. He had always failed at keeping rational when he was furious like that. And she was actually surprised that he had been so bothered by it, to the point of getting that mad. "You spent the past weeks fooling around with that…"

"Don't," Owen grabbed her slim wrist and stopped Amelia from touching him just as she'd been about to. "Don't say anything. You don't owe me any explanations," Amelia looked at him and instead of the warm, caring eyes, she found the scowl of a guy who was just too mad to even pretend he was okay. "You are a free woman. You can do whatever you want," he said and Amelia instantly noticed his calm, rational speech completely contrasted with his infuriated reaction. But even though she noticed something was off, never would she be prepared to hear what would come next. "If you have to sleep with Koracick to get funding for your project, then so be it," he cruelly accused her, knowing he was being extremely unfair. But Owen couldn't help himself. The news had caught him totally off guard, and the way it had infuriated him had surprised him even more. "Next time just leave me out of it, okay? I don't want to be a part of another one of your games."

Amelia felt the blow the instant the words fired out of Owen's mouth. She didn't know what hurt her the most, the way he had cruelly accused her of something they both knew wasn't true, or the cold look on his face as he'd done it.

The first tear rolled on her cheek, enraging Amelia even more.

 _Screw Owen_ , she thought, trying to contain the tears that insisted on falling. He had been the one to change his mind… It had been Owen the one to break off their marriage… It had also been Owen the one to jump into someone else's bed and take a random woman to the house they'd once shared the minute she'd left the house. So he had no right to play that low.

How dare him accuse her of that? Amelia sighed heavily, heartbreak and hurt slowly being replaced by anger and determination. Briefly, she thought about giving up the project and telling Owen to shove his Polymer idea up his ass. But she couldn't do that because Kimmie's life depended on it.

And as she went on with her day, blaming exhaustion and sleep deprivation rather than her hurt feelings for the way she struggled to keep focus, Amelia felt more determined to make her innovative project work. It was the only thing in her life worth focusing on.

Owen could take care of his bruised ego on his own. Maybe their idea to become friends was really faded to disaster. After all, they could barely interact without the heavy cloud of their unresolved issues lingering on their heads. And if Owen's display of anger served as example for what was about to come, Amelia thought maybe it was better to simply never go there after all.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you everyone who left a comment, it makes me very happy to read what you have to say! You guys are amazing. Here is part 2! :)

 **Maybe This Time – Part 2**

Owen threw the folded white coat over his shoulder, leaning on the elevator handrail as the doors closed before him. He still had about thirty minutes left before his shift was over, but he was secretly praying there wouldn't be any more incomes. The ER had been busy enough that day.

As he tried to remember if the patient he'd just left in post op was the sixth or seventh he'd operated on since that morning, the elevator came to a stop on the third floor of the hospital. When Owen looked up to see the doors opening, his thoughts disappeared from his mind as a familiar figure hesitantly made her way inside.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that Amelia was that uncomfortable to be alone in an enclosed space with him, Owen realized. Just a couple of weeks before, he had been a total jerk reacting badly to a situation he really didn't see coming.

Even though it was already pressed, the neurosurgeon stubbornly hit the button to the bottom floor, almost as if that changed the fact she was going to the same place as him. Owen tried not to think about the reasons why they had recently reached the point where they didn't even say hi to each other whenever they met by chance like this.

Amelia had her back turned to him and he could see how erect she stood, proudly refusing to be the one to break the silence. He had insulted her dignity and for that, Owen was really sorry. He hadn't meant what he said and knew that eventually, he would have to apologize to her, but just confronting the idea that Amelia had slept with Tom Koracick was too much for Owen to deal with at the moment.

As they finally made it to the ER and she disappeared through the crowd of health workers and patients without bothering to even look at him, Owen thought about the previous weeks. He hadn't seen Amelia inside the OR as much as she normally used to be there. Instead, he'd noticed she was spending the vast majority of her time inside a lab, either with Alex Karev or on her own. Her ambitious plan to come up with a solution to save her patient was impressive, but her devotion to it was even more touching.

Having been present at the room the moment Koracick had laid out his terms, Owen knew that while doing the hard work, Amelia was at risk for not getting the fame. And yet that hadn't prevented her from carrying on with the plan, determined to make it work for the patient. Owen was well aware that not many surgeons would do the same, since the project demanded long hours. Hours that could be used for treating other patients or drafting new lines or research. But Amelia's brilliance only wasn't bigger than her drive and Owen had learned that from the very beginning.

He knew that glory and recognition weren't the reasons that motivated Amelia to pursue that project, but Owen couldn't help feeling absolutely infuriated at the way Tom Koracick had blatantly bribed her into making him a part of it. The trauma surgeon wasn't willing to consider that his hatred perhaps was also founded on feelings other rather than his sharp sense of justice but he knew that regardless of the reason behind it, he simply despised the guy.

Roughly a year before, Owen had stood in front of a house he bought and heard from the woman he loved the sweetest proposition he could think of. Just like Amelia, her marriage proposal had been impulsive, heartfelt and absolutely adorable. Owen had embarked on the idea right away, too excited with the prospect of building a life with the woman who instilled in him the best feelings he'd never even considered possible to have.

And for a brief time, they'd lived the happiest weeks of his life. Being with Amelia had been the easiest and most delightful experience he'd ever been through because somehow, it was like he could be nothing but himself with her. And she made him feel loved for it. That was something Owen had never felt before. When added to the fact he loved her just as much, the combination made him feel like somehow he had gotten really, really lucky.

But just as Amelia had taken him to heaven by introducing Owen to the life he'd always wanted but never dared to consider he'd get, she had also broken his heart by suddenly leaving him, right after they'd planned to take the one step his heart had always desired the most. Even though he'd spent months and months lying awake in bed at night trying to figure things out, Owen still felt like some parts of the puzzle were missing.

At first, Amelia had seemed really excited with the idea of having a baby. Not only because she'd verbalized it and actually talked about it with him, but also because it completely made sense with everything she'd shown to him about herself until then. On the couple of years prior to their marriage, Owen had seen her multiple times interacting with children, talking to them and about them. It was clear on her speech and her behavior that she was crazy about kids. So when she'd unexpectedly shouted at his face that she didn't want a baby, right after they'd agreed to conceive one in one of the sweetest moments they'd spent together, Owen instantly realized something was off.

For weeks he had pursue her, tried to get a hold of her and talk things through. And yet Owen had found nothing but rejection. The side of Amelia he'd come to know in the process scared and disappointed him. Owen had never seen her act so coldly and inconsiderately before. The woman he'd married was warm and kind and absolutely empathetic. It was hard to associate that image and those memories to the Amelia who shouted at him on halls, hid behind closed doors and refused to talk to her husband about a decision that deeply affect him too, considering they had exchanged vows to always respect and take care of each other.

Until on a random day, just when he was thinking his relationship with Amelia might be beyond salvation, his wife had rescued him when Owen had gotten one of the most surprising news of his life. His sister was alive and even though he'd been in shock during the discovery, Owen didn't fail to notice how Amelia stepped up and took charge of the situation, making phone calls and arranging things while caring for him amidst the process.

And just like that, right when he'd allowed himself to hope that the woman he knew and fell in love with was still there, Amelia had walked out and abandoned him when Owen needed her the most, shattering his rising dreams to pieces one more time.

During that alarming moment of his life, Owen had desperately tried to make sense of things, but it just felt like the more he tried, the more he failed. Until one day, when he was at his lowest, the answer had come to him through a shock Owen had never seen it coming.

His wife had a brain tumor. _A brain tumor_.

Her treatment had coincided with his sister's, and the guilt that he couldn't fully be there for both women had consumed Owen more than the sleepless nights he'd spent awake, going from room to room to check on them. As Megan slowly had taken control of her life, Amelia had experienced a painful recovery. Owen couldn't wait to have that entire nightmare be over. All he wanted was for his sister to be okay, his wife to be okay, and for them to simply go back to the blissfully happy life they'd briefly experienced before she had suddenly left him with a note.

Owen had opened his heart and exposed himself to heartbreak one more time by proposing to Amelia that she came back home with him. At the time, he had taken the chance with no guarantees that she'd say yes. He wanted her there and more than anything, he wanted to make their marriage work. Even at the time, Owen could clearly see how guilty his wife felt for putting so many people through a hard time while acting out because of her medical condition. Already exhausted after those excruciating weeks, the two of them had agreed to blame it all on the tumor and move on, since that factor was already out of the equation.

And yet, as they slowly tried to take where they'd left off, Owen couldn't quite figure out just why things didn't seem the same. He had wanted to be with Amelia and for them to be happy together so badly that he wasn't ready to admit that perhaps, the tumor had never been the real issue… That perhaps, it had only served as a catalyzer to expose many things that were buried deep down within their own personal traumas. Things that hurt too much to even be remembered.

Owen then noticed how distant he and Amelia were. He knew she noticed it too. The bridge that would connect them had been broken the moment she'd left him with more questions than answers and it felt like it didn't matter how much they tried, none of them could cross the path to each other again. Daily, Owen watched as his wife struggled and fought to make it work, be it by inviting him to dinner or offering that they did something they both liked together.

And in those moments, Owen suffered because he just couldn't ask her the questions he really wanted to know…

What exactly did she feel? Did she really love him? Had her tumor compromised not only her behavior but also her perception of her feelings? Was she trying that hard only because she felt guilty for luring into a marriage? Had her decision to ask him to marry her come out of genuine passion and desire to share their dreams, or had it been nothing but another of her symptoms?

Owen really needed to know all of that, but he had held back on going there. After her surgery, Amelia seemed calmer and more serene, but he could see on the shadow lingering in her eyes that she was struggling too. The trauma surgeon supposed she didn't have the answers to his unasked questions because she didn't know the answers herself. And even though she had more than once told him that her affection and love for him were still there, he couldn't help but wonder, _loved him how?_

Owen was tired. Drained, to be accurate. For months, he bounced back and forth trying to make sense of many things all the while dealing with guilt. His sister had come back after he'd given up on her, his wife had come around after he'd labeled her insane… In the meantime, he had been accused of things, called things, been put against the wall by his family… Throughout the entire process, Owen had neglected to really process the pain he had felt on each and every one of those moments.

He hadn't really taken notice of those building feelings until the day his sister had challenged his entire line of thought. Owen wasn't fool to think Megan had all the reason. She wasn't even in a position to properly judge, considering how little she knew about his history with Amelia. But Owen was so tired that one day, after he knew for sure that Megan and Amelia were physically and mentally okay, he realized there was nothing else he could do. None of them needed him anymore, and perhaps it was true that they'd both be better on their own.

Maybe he would be better on his own too, Owen had thought.

If it were just him, he wouldn't have to come home asking himself if the woman joining him for dinner, the one he was still very much in love with, actually did love him back or not. He would be free to go to bed at night not wondering if they were just playing pretend, if that whole thing they were seeking after wasn't only an act…

Owen didn't want to play pretend. He didn't want doubts and insecurity. He wanted certainty, steadiness, stability. And most of all, he wanted only what was real. Being in a marriage where it felt like he didn't know his wife and wasn't sure about her feelings hurt more than the prospect of being alone.

So on an impulse, Owen had broken it off. He'd proposed they parted ways and Amelia had agreed. She had hugged him back and shed tears in his arms. Letting her go was the hardest thing Owen had ever had to do, because in his heart, Owen knew he loved her. He knew his feelings were real. The dreams he'd allowed himself to have with Amelia by his side had been the highest point of his life. He was sure of that just as he knew that sleeping with Carina had meant nothing but a way to distract his mind while his heart broke in a thousand pieces after accepting the reality of his situation.

And now when he'd found out that soon after leaving their house Amelia had slept with Tom Koracick, it just felt like Owen had finally gotten an answer to most of his questions.

For weeks after she'd left, Owen had tried not think about the doubts he'd decided to let go of, because it just didn't matter anymore. They weren't together. It was over. At some point, they'd have to finalize a divorce.

But apparently, truth was that after her surgery, Amelia had probably figured she didn't feel the same way about him. Knowing that she'd slept with another guy, someone she knew prior to their separation and had a long history with had pretty much confirmed Owen's suspicion that just like her impulsive behavior once, her feelings for him had also been fabricated by her mental confusion.

The moment truth had come out, Owen had not been ready to feel the pain. The trauma surgeon had experienced rejection before, but for some reason, coming from Amelia, after all they'd been through… It just hurt too much. It had caught him completely off guard and infuriated him more than he ever would have imagined.

"Dude… Are you okay?"

Owen turned his head to the side to meet the insistent gaze of Alex Karev.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," the pediatric surgeon informed him. "You've been standing there looking at that chart for at least half an hour," Alex exaggerated. "I need that tablet to check some labs."

Owen took a while to get his thoughts back to the present and distractedly handed over the object. The trauma surgeon was still trying to remember if he still had some patient notes to update on his charts when Karev spoke again.

"I should have gone home two hours ago," the guy growled, too caught up with what he was doing to realize he held Owen's attention, "why did I agree to this…? I don't even like research and Shepherd is driving me nuts while…"

Owen cleared his throat and Alex stopped talking, instantly realizing he was voicing his thoughts out loud.

"How is Kimmie doing?" the trauma surgeon asked with genuine interest.

For the past weeks, he'd seen the young patient coming and going while enduring rounds of radiotherapy.

"She isn't responding as well to treatment as we imagined," Alex sighed, visibly preoccupied. "Which just makes this whole thing even more stressful," the pediatric surgeon shared.

"No progress with the research plan?" Owen figured, reading the answer on the guy's face.

Alex ran a hand through his hair in sign of fatigue. When Amelia had laid out for him the reformulated plans for their project weeks before, he'd instantly agreed to help her. The neurosurgeon would focus on the technicalities of their study while Alex was responsible for the clinical approach. In practice, that meant he was responsible for making sure Kimmie remained viable to get the treatment while Amelia rushed to make sure they had one to begin with.

"In the first few days we were able to get a couple of breakthroughs but I think Amelia has been stuck for the past week," Alex confessed, looking Owen in the eyes. "Look, dude, I am not sure I should be saying this and I don't know what the hell happened between the two of you but I really thought you were going to help out."

"What do you mean?" Owen frowned, confused.

Alex looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"When Shepherd came to me with the new idea, even before she sold it to Koracick, I was under the impression she was counting on you to help out with the Polymer thing," Alex exposed his doubt. He'd asked Amelia a few times on the past few days why she hadn't gone to Owen for help as she'd gotten stuck, but the neurosurgeon had been so secretive and insistent that she would figure it out on her own that it'd become obvious to Alex that somewhere along the way, something had changed, leaving Owen out. "Back then, she told me you had some experience with it... I thought you were on board too."

"I shared my idea with her and agreed to explain what I was going with, but she never discussed with me that you guys wanted my help," Owen replied, genuinely surprised. He remembered Koracick had asked him to be a part of the project, but there was no way Owen would work with the guy, under any circumstances.

"I thought she'd told me you knew how to work around this thing," Alex added, referring to the Polymer chain.

"I read a lot about it when I was a resident but that was a long time ago," Owen explained. Back then, he'd had a professor whose field of work was coagulation in severely wounded trauma patients and for a while, Owen had been on his project, so he'd acquired some experience with the type of study.

"Whatever it is, Shepherd is breaking her head to figure some things out and she's been stuck on the same place for days," Alex replied. "Whatever you did, she is too proud to ask for your help even though I told her she should have done it way sooner," the pediatric patient sighed impatiently, "whatever it is that you did, just fix it… You are not the one who has to deal with her bad mood," Alex complained, judgingly frowning at Owen, almost as if he knew the trauma surgeon was the one responsible for their fallout.

Owen didn't know what to answer so he simply nodded with his head, watching as soon after, Karev walked away after checking the lab results he'd come to get. As Owen thought about it, it made every sense that he'd seen Amelia working late every night of the week then. And it wasn't surprising why she looked so tired and stressed.

She was too proud for her own good and Owen had to admit he admired her for it. It would have been convenient and easy for her to get to him, demand an apology and use some of his experience to get ahead with her work.

But Amelia hadn't done it.

Owen wondered just how much he'd bothered her with his nasty, unfounded accusation. Amelia wasn't arrogant, he knew that if she kept looking for a solution she'd find it, but he was also sure that at that same moment, she was probably second guessing herself and questioning her ability to do it. And all the while, not giving it up. Owen really had to give it to her… Amelia was the most resilient person he'd ever met.

It had become clear she was extremely devoted to making sure that her project got done as quickly as possible because Kimmie didn't really have a lot of time. Owen knew Amelia often put her patients above many things, and for her to decide not to ask for his help in that scenario, considering it was probably killing her not getting it done faster, it really had to mean she was deeply upset.

Her ego was probably wounded that he'd insulted her professional capabilities, Owen thought. He knew it bothered Amelia very much when for example people assumed that Derek had anything to do with her professional success. She was too proud of the battles she'd fought to get to the position she was today. Owen knew Amelia had never taken any shortcuts. So he could see how saying that she'd slept with a guy to gain a favor would really be insulting.

Even though his shift had just ended, Owen suddenly found himself taking the elevator back upstairs, instead of heading to the parking lot like he was supposed to. He tried not to think about what he was doing as his feet automatically led him to the research lab, which was usually empty at that late hour.

But he wasn't surprised to see a slim, petite woman bent over a microscope, taking notes with one hand while her eyes were absolutely fixated on the field. Her impressive display of skill didn't surprise Owen, for he'd seen her do even more amazing things with her outstanding dexterity.

Amelia felt a heavy presence taking over the room and suddenly stiffened up. When she realized she wasn't alone, the neurosurgeon looked over her shoulder, finding the eyes of the man she was so determined not to think of, even though he still haunted her thoughts.

Owen noticed how she simply turned back around and focused her eyes on the microscope again, refusing to acknowledge his presence.

The way she so openly ignored him didn't enrage Owen nearly as much as he thought it should. In fact, it quite amused the trauma surgeon. But he refused to let it show, focusing instead on the purpose of his visit.

"Karev told me he had some things for me to look at," Owen started, pretty sure she would read through his lie.

"You should probably wait until he is here so he can show you exactly what, then," Amelia retorted, unwillingly to even look at him. She knew as well as Owen that Alex wasn't really engaged in any of the results she was working with at the moment. He couldn't have possibly left anything for Owen to give his opinion on.

Owen sighed, annoyed but not really surprised. The way she had sneakily embarked on his fake argument and beat him at his own plot definitely was something he should have seen coming.

"Do you need my help?" Owen buried his hands in his pockets, exhaling heavily as he tried a different approach.

"No."

"Do you want my help?"

The rephrased question stopped Amelia at her tracks and slowly, she turned around again, finally meeting his eyes with her own. On her expression, Owen saw how upset she still was. It was probably taking a lot of effort for her to even look at him at that moment.

"I want you to let me work," Amelia replied with a serious tone, unable to stop looking at him. She had no idea why Owen was there, let alone offering her help. And inasmuch as she could use the experience she knew he had, Amelia knew she couldn't stand beside him and act indifferently to the big fight they'd had. Not after the things he'd said to her and the way he'd hurt her feelings by making false, outraging accusations.

"I am sorry."

Amelia was just about to turn back to the microscope when the words caught her off guard. The confusion was clear on face when she frowned, waiting for him to elaborate what he meant.

"I said uh…" Owen hesitated, pausing to take a deep breath. It was obvious he was having a hard time going back to the subject, which secretly pleased her. He had hurt her so much that Amelia kind of couldn't sympathize with the way he was struggling right now. "I know I said horrible things to you," Owen finally got there, sustaining her gaze as he spoke the words. "I was out of line and I don't mean what I said," he added, hoping she would believe him. "I would never think you actually slept with someone to get something. It's not you."

"And yet, you accused me of it," Amelia reminded him, and proudly held her head high, absolutely refusing to let the memories of his words devastate her again. "If you didn't mean it, then why did you say it?"

Owen looked around the room for a while, breathing in and out as if thinking of what to say. The answer wasn't very obvious, but deep in his heart he knew why he'd been so angry at the situation. And yet, he couldn't really say it, not when he knew she didn't reciprocate the feelings that had prompted him to act like a blind idiot.

"I was upset that you had something with the guy and I felt betrayed," Owen admitted. It was true, but it didn't cover the entire dimension of his motives. "I know it was unfair of me to act like a crazy ex when you were nothing but graceful when you found me with Carina," Owen added. "And even when you knew about me and Carina, but you never said anything about Koracick, so I thought…" Owen sighed, suddenly unable to carry on with the conversation. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. The bottom line is that I acted like a jerk. And I shouldn't have. So… I am sorry."

Amelia saw in his eyes that he meant it. She desperately wanted to ask what exactly he'd thought, but she wasn't sure she should.

"Why were you so angry, though?" she couldn't help herself. Owen was usually calm and contained. Sometimes, she was actually a little jealous of how levelheaded he was. But once something grinded his gears, he became irrational and even mean. And she couldn't quite figure out why exactly he'd gone from zero to sixty only with the information that she'd had a one night stand, especially when he'd been the one to develop a sexual relationship for weeks with a new woman.

"I don't know…" Owen looked away, unable to look into her eyes when he was lying. He knew why he'd been so angry, he just didn't want to say it. "I just wanted to say that I… I know I screwed up, okay? And I know I insulted you… I shouldn't have," he finally met her gaze again and spoke very seriously, "but I know you're very invested in this research and I know your intentions are noble. I totally get if you don't want to work with me, but I am around if you need my help."

As Owen said the words, he finally made his peace and slowly went to the door. It was still hard to accept the reality that had come with the discovery about Amelia and Koracick: she probably didn't love him nearly as much as he loved her. But that didn't change the fact that she'd still tried, and gone to their house like he'd asked her to. She'd tried to make it work and he couldn't blame her for not feeling what he wanted her to feel. When Amelia had failed him, it had been because of the tumor. Once tumor free, she had absolutely honored her vows, even though she didn't even have to, considering how she'd come to make them in the first place. Owen couldn't really be angry with her, no matter how frustrated with the situation he was.

Already accepting that at some point, he was going to have to deal with his feelings and get over her, Owen walked to the door, being suddenly stopped by the sound of her sweet voice.

"I was able to get the Polymer chain to bind to the tumorous cells as I wanted but they are severely increasing cell osmolarity," Amelia started, hesitating. She noticed he had turned back and stayed. Ignoring how her heart raced in anticipation to his reaction, the neurosurgeon went on. "I am afraid I might cause a stroke on the patient if I do that to her."

Owen nodded affirmatively as he heard about her legitimate concern, carefully processing it.

"Have you tried making the entire solution hyperosmotic?" he suggested, walking in her direction. Amelia smiled for the first time, as if suddenly hit by a thousand ideas. Owen couldn't help smiling back as she instantly flipped the pages of her writing pad, eagerly looking for notes.

For the following minutes, Owen was invaded by a strange sense of pride as he watched the speed in which her brain worked. Amelia tried exposing her new ideas, but it was like her mouth couldn't work as fast as her mind. Owen knew he'd already given her the help she needed for the time being. It was very likely that for the following hours or even days, Amelia stayed immersed in her own thoughts, carefully making tiny adjustments to perfect the new solution she'd just been given.

Owen sat on a stool near her workstation watching Amelia work, occasionally interrupting her speech to challenge one of her thoughts. She seemed to appreciate his interference, because that always renewed her energy to turn the table around with a new solution. Amelia wasn't really competing with him and they both knew it. Instead, she was competing against herself and Owen was sure that eventually not only Amelia but also Kimmie would win.

As for him, Owen knew he also had to compete with himself. Staying and getting tempted with her presence was hard to resist, even though deep down Owen knew he should guard his feelings. Eventually, he'd have to surrender his own urges and keep his distance to finally get over her.

But tonight, Owen didn't want to think about that. Instead, he would settle for enjoying her company, trying not to think about how they made each other a lot better whenever they communicated properly and decided to do something together, whatever it may be.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks everyone for the kind feedback! I always enjoy hearing from you : )

 **Maybe This Time – Part 3**

"So it wasn't until two or three in the morning that I realized what was happening… I had mounted my slides so beautifully, not one single bubble whatsoever! But then I put under the scope and after minutes of not quite figuring out what was happening, I realized I'd forgotten to stain them," Amelia's delightful laughter filled the room. "I mean, I know am good, but I am not _that_ good," she teased her mishap from yet another night of working late in the lab. "Anyway, so that was my _time to go home_ moment of the week and…" Amelia's voice trailed off as she turned around in search of Owen's face after being met with his continuous silence. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Owen answered with a genuine smile, his kind eyes meeting hers almost instantly to show that he had been paying attention. He just hadn't said anything because he was waiting for her to finish telling her story.

Owen knew that Amelia was probably chronically tired after working late nearly every single night, but the way her face was still lighting up with energy and drive had a very contaminating effect on him.

"You don't have to be here, you know that, right?" the neurosurgeon smiled shyly at him, hoping Owen knew he had no obligation to work late just because he'd offered to help with the research. "I mean, I am very grateful for everything you're doing but I don't want burden you with-"

"You're not," Owen interrupted her, genuinely touched that she was worried about him. "I have a day off tomorrow actually. So I can sleep in if I want… That means I can stay here until two in the morning if that's what you plan to do," he added with a jovial grin. "That is, if you don't explode the lab first."

"Very funny," Amelia tried to censor him but she couldn't help smiling at his playful remark.

As the neurosurgeon turned around to resume the work she was doing, Owen was once again carried away with her incessant chatter.

As it had happened for the past week, soon after finalizing his work in the ER, the trauma surgeon had taken the elevator upstairs to meet Amelia in the lab. The routine had repeated itself so many times already that he didn't even need to think to know what was going to happen.

First, he'd find her taking notes and comparing them. Then he'd sit on the same short stool by one of the corners while she spent hours engaged in her research work. While at it, Amelia would spend the majority of their time doing all the talking, but Owen didn't mind. He had to admit he sort of liked it, actually. For some reason, it felt kind of familiar... almost comfortable. And he knew it helped her to have someone listening while she brainstormed, so he was more than willing to stay. Occasionally, he would interrupt her thoughts and add a suggestion or two. She would get especially fired up if he challenged her, which according to Amelia herself, really helped her whenever she got stuck with something.

Owen looked at his wristwatch, noticing it wasn't even eight yet.

"This is just so frustrating," Amelia let out a heavy sigh after the result of one experiment didn't come out quite as she expected. Swiftly turning around, she sought Owen's gaze again. "You know when you're playing chess and then you get super excited because you are about to make a move with your pawn to strike the opponent's bishop but you later realize the move just cost you your Queen?"

"What?" Owen frowned in confusion.

"You know," Amelia insisted impatiently. "This feels just like that. I change something to cover a problem and then that move just ends up causing me another problem. It feels like I am walking around in circles," she explained, anxiously scratching her forehead with her right hand.

"Amelia, you made some amazing progress," Owen reminded her. During the past week, he'd closely watched as she had gracefully handled any stumbling blocks that came her way. With her ultimate goal in mind, Amelia always exhilarated determination and resilience. But Owen knew the journey would be long and she was racing against the clock. It was to be expected that at times she started to second guess herself. In those moments, it was important to have someone there, someone who knew very well what she was capable of and could promptly remind her. "You know what, I think you should probably take a break," he suggested. She had been at the lab for nearly the whole day and while her devotion was touching, Owen knew that after too many hours, it could stop being productive.

"I don't really have any time," she reminded him with what resembled disappointment. "I should have this figured out by now and I…"

"Amelia, listen to me," Owen stood up and walked in her direction, glad to see she was giving him all her attention. "What you are doing is amazing. It's incredible," he reinforced. "It's one hell of a breakthrough. But you are not a machine, you are a person." Owen said with conviction. "A person who has been through a very extensive surgery not too long ago, actually," he pointed out with concern. It was admirable that she was spending so much time investing in Kimmie's recovery, but she also had to take care of herself. "When was the last time you ate?"

"I was just trying to…"

"Answer me," Owen gently intensified his stare, watching as she held back on the excuse like a little kid caught doing something wrong.

"I think I should probably not answer that," Amelia bit her lower lip, playfully smiling back at him.

"You probably shouldn't," Owen agreed with a pretend tone of reprimand, for a moment obliterating everything else around them as his attention focused exclusively on her smile.

"It's just that I…" Amelia sighed, struggling to find the right words. "I can't fail at this. I can't, you know?" she looked up to meet his eyes, unknowingly craving his comforting and reassurance. "The idea is just too good to become nothing… I really thought I could just swipe in and do it and now I got everyone's hopes up," she explained. "Kimmie has a death sentence in her head and she is counting on me to stop it before it's too late," the neurosurgeon added, noticing the sympathy in Owen's eyes. He could tell how bothered by it she was. "And then there is Koracick who invested all this money in this proje-"

"Screw him," Owen's jaw got slight tenser even though he sustained Amelia's gaze, determined to encourage her. "It's just money, Amelia. A guy like him wouldn't bet his chips if he didn't think it was worth it. He is not really losing anything important if it doesn't work out and it's not the end of the world," he affirmed with conviction, unconsciously belittling the help the guy had been able to offer. The money could have come from any other source. But Amelia was the only one who could take the project forward. "Is he giving you a hard time about it?" the trauma surgeon asked after being suddenly struck with the thought, visibly condemning it.

"No," Amelia sheepishly smiled at him, grateful for Owen's devotion and loyalty. It was soothing to know she could count on him for support, despite everything that had happened between them. Trying not to think of that, Amelia focused on the problem at hand. "But I know it's going to be disappointing for everyone if I can't go forward with the plan that was so good in theory."

Owen stayed silent for a moment. Yeah, he agreed with that. But he also knew that it wouldn't do her any good to simply torture herself with many _what if_ 's when she wasn't anywhere close to throwing in the towel yet. Amelia had nothing to prove, she had already accomplished many great things. That burden wasn't on her anymore like it had been once.

It was then that Owen thought back about the many times he'd seen her perform well, even when she was under incredible pressure.

"Do you remember when you first came up with the plan to excise Nicole Herman's tumor?" he tried to contain his smile. The mention of one of her most successful cases brought an adorably embarrassed smile to Amelia's previously reserved expression.

Owen had been her boss at the time of the surgery and they had just been getting to know each other back then. That hadn't prevented him from quickly noticing not only just how brilliant Amelia really was, but also the fact that her motivation was genuinely pure. Owen wasn't the kind of guy who gave a lot of thought to things such as fate and karma. But he also didn't think that her success had been coincidental. Amelia was exceptionally gifted and she meant well. Those things combined had to be a recipe for success.

"I remember it," Amelia bit her bottom lip, trying not to think of how Owen seemed to know exactly which button to push.

"You had a brilliant idea and you spent so much time working on it," he smiled, holding her attention with his warm, loving eyes. "And at times you felt like it wasn't going to work, that all your hard work and effort wouldn't pay off… remember that?"

"How am I putting you in this situation again?" Amelia asked with modesty, unable to contain a chuckle as their eyes once again met. "You are always there to help me out when I come up with a crazy plan no one believes in," she realized. At the time of Herman's surgery, her brother had left to D.C. to work on an important project and the case had fallen on Amelia's lap. At first, it had begun as a personal challenge, but later it became so big and important that Amelia had felt overwhelmed with the pressure. Especially because back then, she still felt like she lived under her brother's shadow. "How absurd is it that we are back to the same place?" Amelia gently nodded her head, finding the situation hard to believe.

At the same time it was crazy, it also felt strangely incredible.

"You can always count me in to reassure you," Owen said with a low voice, noticing the atmosphere around them got increasingly heavier. He belatedly realized the two of them were standing too close. Somehow that had come to happen along the conversation and even though it felt amazing to reach and touch her should he wish it, rationally Owen knew it probably wasn't the best idea. "How about that break I suggested?" he raised both eyebrows at the same time he buried his hands in his coat pockets, trying his best not to touch her but also unwilling to step back.

"I guess I could use some food," Amelia finally agreed. She still felt guilty for leaving the lab since she should be using that time to improve her plan. But at the same time, Amelia was mature enough to acknowledge that her mind also needed distractions. She had spent too much time focused on mostly one task and while she could sustain that for a few days, on the long run it wasn't a really healthy choice. "Wanna go to Joe's?"

"No," Owen answered unceremoniously. He knew a lot of the people at the hospital liked to hang out at the bar across the street after work hours, and the prospect of running into someone they knew didn't exactly excite him. As selfish as it was, truth was Owen was really enjoying her company. And he didn't want to share it.

For the past few days, at some point he had started to bring them dinner for those late nights at the lab. It wasn't exactly a surprise to him that Amelia would be so caught up with her research that more often than not she'd actually neglect having something to eat. Since Owen had always been the one to choose the menu until the day before, he figured it was only fair to let her pick what they should eat this time around.

"Pick something else," he kindly smiled at her.

"Can we go to that seafood place?" Amelia suggested on an impulse. She wasn't even sure that going out to dinner with the ex-husband that wasn't officially her ex yet was actually a good idea. But they were getting along so well lately without all the pressure of a relationship hanging over their heads that she really didn't want to think about it. Instead, Amelia wanted to simply enjoy his company like she had been doing for the past few days.

"The one near the house?" Owen was surprised by her suggestion, but still pleased. Amelia noticed he'd said _the_ house instead of _my_ house, but she supposed it had been an innocent mistake. The neurosurgeon had also had moments in which she would refer to something they did together, for a brief moment neglecting the fact that they weren't together anymore. "Let me guess, crab cakes?" Owen rolled his eyes playfully, finding the confirmation to his suspicion in Amelia's adorable wide smile.

During the time they were married, Amelia had accidentally discovered a tiny little restaurant next to their house that served what she considered the best sea dishes in Seattle. Back then, she'd always want to go there. Owen loved the food, but he had to admit he wasn't exactly excited about the space. Even thought the place was clean and well decorated, it was also too enclosed and small. He always felt like he didn't have enough leg room while seated at their tables.

"The crab crakes are _really_ good," Amelia tried to convince him, unaware that she didn't really have to.

"So I keep hearing," Owen playfully got back at her, too enchanted by the vision of the dimples on her smile to actually even think about refuting her choice. He would definitely buy every goddamn crab cake on that tiny restaurant with ridiculously small chairs if it meant she'd smile like that to him once again that evening.

 _What was he doing?_ Owen heard his own censoring voice inside his head. He was entirely aware that the only way to get over Amelia – and Owen knew he eventually had to – was by keeping his distance. Hanging out with her every night and admiring her smile didn't exactly strike him as the perfect plan to accomplish that.

But then again… he was just helping her out. Amelia had the life of a kid in her hands and that was more relevant at the moment than coming to terms with their failed marriage. Owen was determined to do everything within his power to help. He didn't even know the kid yet but Amelia spoke about her with such tender words that he was sure she had come to mean a lot to the neurosurgeon. And even so, Kimmie was only a child. She deserved every chance they could give her and if that meant spending the night with the woman he loved but was unsuccessfully trying to forget, then so be it.

"I swear to God, if we have to wait outside for a table, we are going for a burger," Owen grumpily complained, unaware that he had inflicted a bit of his frustration with his unresolved feelings into his speech.

Amelia didn't seem to notice it though, because her smile was still the same when she turned her head to look into his eyes.

"No way," she scowled at him. "You made me leave the lab. I want my crab cakes. And shrimp too."

Owen couldn't help himself. Her spontaneity won over his bad mood and he slowed down his pace so they could walk together side by side.

"Do you remember that one time I set up that dinner to have Riggs over and I forgot to tell you about it?"

Owen didn't expect the question or even the upfront reference to one of the happiest times of their marriage, but he was just too curious to see why she'd brought that up.

"You didn't forget to tell me, you just didn't want to," he corrected with a teasing smile, watching as she chuckled in response. "But yeah, I remember it. What about it?"

Amelia bit her lower lip, unable to deny he was absolutely right about her supposed memory lapse.

"I actually went to the market at the time to take a look around and check what we could have for dinner," the neurosurgeon shared with him what she hadn't had the chance to tell him at the time. Since she had settled for ordering Middle Eastern take out, it was likely Owen didn't know about her original plans. "I thought about seafood, obviously, so I went to the fresh food stand hoping they'd have crabs… but when I got there I saw these huge fresh lobsters that looked so tasty. Up to this day, I still regret not getting them."

"Why didn't you?" Owen smiled at her lighthearted story, even though he feared she might say it had been because of the bad experience they'd had that one time she'd found him drunk inside his trailer just as they were supposed to have a dinner date in which he'd cook lobster.

"Because they bit me," Amelia confessed with a scowl, cracking him up.

"What?" Owen asked between fits of laughter. "Lobsters don't bite," he informed her.

"Alright, fine, they pinched me, whatever…" Amelia rolled her eyes, clearly not happy with the outcome of her tale. "The two bastards attacked me together just as I got near them. They set me up."

"They set you up?" Owen raised his eyebrows openly mocking her, but trying his very best not to laugh. "Why didn't you buy and cook them?"

"Trust me, there is nothing I would have liked more than cooking and then eating those two psychopaths," Amelia said, unaware of how adorable she looked as she expressed her outrage at the two lobsters as if they had really offered her any threat.

"Then why didn't you?" Owen asked with good mood. She was so worked up about it that it was actually funny. Amelia never failed to amuse him.

"Because I didn't want to get bitten again," Amelia impatiently looked at him, frowning as if the answer should have been obvious. "Or pinched. It doesn't matter," she grumpily added, seeing he was just about to correct her again.

Owen couldn't help himself and laughed again, watching as she looked offended with his reaction.

"I am sorry," he finally managed to cease his chuckles. "But you brought up the subject, not me."

"I was just trying to justify that I really do like seafood in the hopes it would convince you to stay in line in case we have to wait for a table at the restaurant," Amelia explained herself with something that resembled a pout.

Owen kept looking at her, trying to see if she'd cave, but the neurosurgeon kept on looking away with fierce determination. Too amused by her adorable confession and touched by her motivation behind the tale, Owen truthfully gave in.

"We can stay in line and have as much seafood as you want," he proposed, watching as she hesitantly turned her head in his direction, too suspicious that he'd just start making fun of her again. "We can kill all the crabs, shrimps and lobsters you want," he added with a playful smile.

Amelia seemed to ponder about it for a while, but at last a look of mischief appeared on her face.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," her smile got wider as she looked into his eyes.

"I always knew there was an evil side to you," he playfully kept on teasing her. "Lobster killer."

Amelia threw her head back in a fit of laughter around the same time they finally made it to the restaurant. To their delight, they were warmly greeted by the familiar maître that still worked there, promptly getting a table near the window.

Owen forgot all about how he would have preferred a bigger place with more comfortable seats because all he could focus on during the entire evening was Amelia. After spending the following two hours in his presence, Amelia felt nothing but grateful for the way he had convinced her to get out of the lab. She had been working so hard lately that she really needed to be reminded of what was out there too.

"Remember what you said about the chess pieces?" Owen interrupted her thoughts. Amelia followed his gaze and noticed he was looking at the plaid tablecloth that resembled a chessboard. She nodded affirmatively with her head. "Well… the thing with chess is that you don't think of a move, one at a time," he realized, sharing his idea with her. "As you make your first move, you have to study the board and calculate exactly what the consequences could be. Which pieces you're attacking, which ones you're failing to protect…" he slowly dictated, watching her face transform as Amelia picked up on the metaphor.

"I have to find a way to cover all problems at once," she finished his line of thought, narrowing her eyes. "I can't do one at a time, I have to do all of them at once!" the neurosurgeon affirmed with a smile.

"It might be worth a try," Owen noticed how optimistic she'd just become and couldn't help feeling more hopeful too.

"This is why I keep you around," Amelia playfully provoked him, raising her glass of water to simulate a toast. Seeing he looked happy for her, she added, "Really, though. I mean it," her voice sounded more serious when she added, "I do appreciate what you're doing, Owen."

Amelia meant more than his help in the lab and he knew it. Owen didn't get directly involved with her work unless she asked him to, but he did offer words of encouragement, challenged her and mostly, whenever he was around, Amelia felt like somehow she was being taken care of. She knew she probably shouldn't feel like that, considering their current relationship situation, but the way he had stepped up that night and easily identified what she needed, promptly urging to fix it had given the neurosurgeon a familiar and very addicting feeling of security.

They spent the rest of the evening discussing how exactly Amelia could put in action the new approach Owen had suggested. Later on, he gave her a ride home. But it wasn't until the moment she stepped out of the car that the neurosurgeon noticed how awkward it really felt to say goodbye for the night.

As Owen drove to the house that had once been her home, Amelia found herself questioning her life choices. She walked up the stairs of Meredith's house, suddenly bothered by the fact that even though she was welcome in there, the place wasn't really hers.

Once in the privacy of her bedroom, Amelia got rid of her clothes, ready to take a comforting shower. The hot water had the relaxing effect she wanted, and exhaustion got the best of her, momentarily allowing the surgeon to succeed at her plan not to think about the confusing feelings she'd just experienced.

But when Amelia opened her nightwear drawer in search of clean clothes, invariably making a mess as she sought her favorite set of pajama pants, her hand touched something metallic and cold, causing a big frown on her forehead.

Instantly pulling the object out, Amelia stared at the forgotten wedding band that had up until recently been on Owen's finger. Seeing the ring after spending the night having such a great time with him served to cause a rush of memories to her head, making her heart constrict inside her chest.

Their marriage had been so brief… so painful. There had been wonderful moments, of course. But maybe the reason why Amelia avoided thinking about it with so much resolve was simply because it hurt too much to look back and remember the pain she'd put him through.

Her tumor had led her to do some impulsive and irrational things. During her recovery, Amelia had had to do one of the hardest things she'd ever done, which was to forgive herself. At some extent, she believed she was still working on it. Because her confusing decisions and reactions had affected and hurt a lot of people.

Especially Owen.

He had been married to her back then. Surely, he had been the most affected person in her life.

The neurosurgeon had spent a great deal of time wondering what decisions she'd made had been genuine and which ones had been influenced by the mass growing inside her head. After realizing she didn't have an answer to those questions, Amelia had given up thinking about it altogether. So much that she'd failed to really process the many _repercussions_ of those decisions.

She'd asked Owen to marry her and couldn't really say if that had been a symptom or not. She'd left home, unable to deal with a trauma that was in fact genuine, but her reactions had most likely been that much of a turmoil due to her temporary incapacity to deal with her feelings. That had definitely been caused by the tumor, because now that she was healthy, Amelia didn't feel any of the restlessness and suffocating sensation she'd experienced while sick when she thought about her past.

And amidst everything, there was Owen.

Looking back to the ring on her hand, Amelia let out a heavy sigh. She liked to think she had forgiven herself for the pain she'd inflicted on people because rationally, she knew it had not been her fault. And Owen had also made it clear he felt the same way.

But that didn't change the fact he had been put through that hell of a situation… It didn't change the fact that he had said yes to her marriage proposal, gone after her at every chance he could, fought for their marriage when he had no reason to believe it had any potential and ultimately even stood by her side after she had been diagnosed.

And now, even after they had decided to go their separate ways, he had still been there for her in a way that no one else but him had ever been able to.

Amelia closed her fingers around the gold band at the same time a stubborn tear rolled down her cheek. God, why did it have to be so hard? Why did she always cause a path of heartbreak and destruction wherever she go?

Every man she had ever loved had died. That was not new. But it also couldn't be a coincidence.

She had hurt Owen so bad that he was probably better off without her, Amelia realized. She shouldn't keep that ring inside her drawer, she should just place it somewhere she couldn't randomly find anymore. And they definitely had to move on with the divorce, because only then Owen would be really be free from her and everything she represented.

As Amelia struggled to let go of his wedding ring and place it back on the drawer, she realized that she knew exactly what she had to do.

The only problem left was finding the strength and courage to really do it and finally let go of the only man who'd ever dared to love her and actually survive the curse that was Amelia Shepherd.

once again, thanks to those who've left words of encouragement, they are always highly appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

hey guys, thank you all so much for all the encouragement with this one!

This chapters kicks off with a lot of reflections from both POVs and slowly moves on to action/dialogue. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

 **Maybe This Time – Part 4**

Owen carefully studied the board, trying to see which OR would probably be available next for one of his ER patients that needed a colostomy repair.

As he carefully examined the electives surgeries scheduled for the day, his eyes noticed the names Shepherd and Karev. OR four was reserved for them for the entire afternoon and Owen instantly knew it could only mean one thing.

Amelia had an ambitious procedure ahead and it looked like today was going to be the big day. Owen knew she'd spent a lot of time and effort on the case, and he sincerely hoped it turned out to be everything she wanted. After her initial project had been rejected during the surgical contest, the neurosurgeon hadn't given up. Instead, Amelia had found a way to get proper funding, but only because she'd made her point that there were big chances that her non invasive approach could actually be successful to treat a tumor after combining her idea to one of Owen's.

For the past couple of weeks, he had been helping Amelia nearly every night as she perfected the plan. During the time, she had stumbled upon several setbacks, but the neurosurgeon always found her way through whenever faced with a challenge.

Owen thought back about the night he'd gotten her out of the lab and they had dinner together. It had been such an amazing evening. But if he'd known Amelia would start acting so weird soon after, he probably wouldn't have suggested they went out in the first place.

He could still remember her laughter and the way her eyes had sparkled as they sat down for hours in a tiny seafood restaurant, talking about the most trivial things. When Amelia had expressed her concerns with her surgical plan, Owen had reassured her and pointed out the many times she'd succeeded because, rather than giving up, she had pushed through. He knew he and Amelia were at very different places at the moment: she was focusing on her professional life after recovering from a massive brain tumor, and Owen had decided to break free of every sensation of guilt and responsibility he'd always pressured himself with.

It easier said than done and he'd learned that the hard way. Truth was, it was impossible to deny the feelings he had for his wife. Owen had been a fool to indulge himself in spending time with her and actually allow himself to enjoy her company when he was very much aware of how deeply in love with her he still was. His stupid heart hadn't listened to reason and now he was paying the price.

After Amelia's brain surgery, they had decided to give their marriage a proper chance. But Owen had quickly found out that they couldn't simply pick up where they'd left off because everything was different now and none of them were exactly in the proper state of mind to deal with such turmoil of confusing feelings.

Not long after they had separated though, Owen had invariably come to spend time by her side while working on Kimmie's case. And even if briefly, through the course of those two weeks he had noticed things that hadn't exactly been obvious during the few days Amelia had spent at their house following her discharge from the hospital.

For starters, she seemed to be a lot more in control of herself. Owen knew Amelia had always been impulsive, but the way she had suddenly left him after they'd made wonderful plans together and everything that followed had really made Owen wonder who she really was at some point. But after supposing such inconstant behavior had probably had to do with the altercations of her tumor, Owen thought he'd found proof for that premise in the way his wife was acting while they were in the lab.

Amelia didn't look so jumpy anymore, or so pessimistic. Her entire façade looked lighter, happier and as genuine as when he'd first met her. When faced with a challenge, she had actually been able to communicate with words whatever was going on in her mind, which was a remarkable difference from her running and hiding while expressing symptoms of her tumor.

And then there were the little things too… things that always captivated Owen and had made him fall in love with her in the first place.

Amelia was considerate and affectionate. The way she would head downstairs to get them coffee when a long night of research was ahead and always come back with a new drink every night only to nag Owen until he found out what was in her cup secretly amused him. Not one night went by when she didn't thank him for staying up late with her, expressing her gratitude with sincerity and honesty. There was this lively, positive energy about her that Owen just couldn't seem to get enough of. Amelia didn't lie about whom she was, or pretend to be something she wasn't. That enchanted him. Whenever she said something silly and laughed at her own jokes and bad puns, turning her eyes up to stare at him with child-like expectancy, her gorgeous smile completely threw him off his feet.

Amelia genuinely cared about the life of the kid that was depending on her. Owen had noticed it by the way she spoke about the little girl. He'd seen Amelia examining the child a few times and the humane, solidary way she would empathize with the family reminded Owen of the real nature of her kind heart.

His mind had battled his heart in a painful war over the past weeks and Owen was aware of that. At the same time he rationally knew he should probably keep his distance to try and forget her, considering she hadn't made a single move that indicated she reciprocated his feelings, his heart didn't want to let go. Loving Amelia felt so easy, so natural… Owen could feel his chest getting heavier just by thinking about her.

So for days, he'd allowed his heart to win that battle, leading him to spend more time in her company and eventually add more affection in his heart for the woman who truly was everything he'd always admired in a person.

But then, overnight, after an amazing evening spent outside the hospital walls, Amelia's behavior had changed completely, driving Owen to rethink all the considerations he'd made throughout the past weeks.

Amelia hadn't exactly gone back to running and hiding like she had before her surgery, but she was more distant than she'd been ever since her operation. Her incessant, happy chatter in their late nights at the lab had given place to an uncomfortable, lingering silence that reminded Owen very much of the immediate post surgery days she'd spent at the house with him. At first, he'd wondered if her sudden mood change had had to do with the work and the setbacks she was finding along the way. But Amelia had already had quite a few at that point and had acted completely opposite to shutting off, always reaching out to him instead.

Amelia wasn't exactly treating him poorly, or ignoring him or hiding. But her manners felt strangely cold. Almost formal. As if the intimacy they'd rediscovered in the past few weeks had vanished out of thin air overnight.

Owen had gently tried to dig into what was going on, but after seeing how visibly uncomfortable she was, he had given up on it. And just like that, his four hours spent at the lab after work had become two, until he had simply quit showing up there at all.

Her enigmatic behavior was just another source of unanswered questions that seemed to torment his mind and Owen really didn't want to do that again. He was tired, his energy was gone and he just didn't have it in him anymore to be looking for answers that probably wouldn't help him one bit. The mature, right thing to do was to simply stick to his resolution of moving on with his life. It was hard and painful but it was what had to be done.

And if there was one thing that Owen was very good at, it was doing what had to be done.

.

Amelia paced back and forth inside the pre op room. The day to test her edgy new procedure had finally arrived. The familiar cold sensation in her stomach whenever she was about to scrub in on a major procedure assaulted her, making the neurosurgeon take deep breaths in order to control her anxiety.

During the past few days, Amelia had drowned her head in work, finally perfecting the formula to the solution she was going to inject Kimmie's tumor with before blasting it with high frequency waves Ultrasound. The plan that seemed simple in theory was actually a complex result of many hours spent in the lab and a lot of research.

Amelia knew she had agreed with Tom Koracick that he would be there for every new step of the way. But even though she'd kept her word and regularly updated him, her former mentor couldn't make it to Seattle that day. Koracick was irate and had demanded that Amelia postponed it for a few days so he could clear his schedule to be there, but she had been stubborn enough to stand her ground. They were on a race against the clock and even a few days could cost Kimmie a lot. She was just done being submitted to extensive radiotherapy and it was the perfect moment to assess the tumor. Eventually, after a long discussion on the phone, Koracick had understood the undeniable truth but Amelia knew it didn't mean he had accepted it. Luckily for her, she didn't care about it that much.

At the moment, her attention was focused on Kimmie. The neurosurgeon couldn't help going over the plan in her head at every five minutes. It had started to feel like a mantra already.

After discussing it with Alex, Amelia had reached the conclusion that it was better to perform the procedure inside an OR. Even though it was non-invasive method, she didn't want to risk Kimmie having any kind of complications and then losing precious seconds or minutes rushing to an operation room if need be. And since their plan didn't involve radiation but rather ultrasound waves, Amelia knew everyone in the team wasn't at risk for exposure.

They were expecting a full gallery that afternoon. And even though a lot of colleagues, residents and friends from the hospital had walked past her wishing her good luck, Amelia couldn't help but wish that a certain tall, blonde male figure would come over to do the same.

The neurosurgeon was absolutely grateful for all the help Owen had given her over the past weeks, but most of all, she was grateful for his support. As it had happened many times in the past, he had had her back whenever she was second guessing herself. If that project had developed much faster than anyone could have predicted, she knew a lot of it was thanks to Owen.

While the staff kept busy preparing the OR, Amelia couldn't help but pace back and forth in the scrub room, hopefully waiting for Owen to show up. He couldn't have forgotten about it, could he? Amelia knew she hadn't exactly been very attentive towards him the last few days and that was probably what had caused Owen to stop going up to the lab after his shifts.

But as it turned out, her heart was constricted and her mind wouldn't stop racing with questions, considerations and mostly doubts. After their unplanned date the previous week, when Owen had taken her out to lunch, Amelia had come to realize the hell she'd put him through during the past year. Owen was a good, decent man and he deserved all the best things the world had to offer. Amelia had a tendency to screw up everything she ever tried in terms of relationships and judging by the way that the two of them had been unconsciously reconnecting, it was just better if she kept her distance and set him free once for all.

Amelia knew that soon enough they'd have to settle the divorce paperwork but the notion alone made her feel so uneasy that the neurosurgeon told herself that there was no rush. They had waited this far, surely it wouldn't do anyone harm if they postponed it until after Kimmie's surgery, right?

It broke Amelia's heart to think of how much she had put Owen through, but over the course of a few days, after keeping her distance from him for his own good, the neurosurgeon had found out that not having him around was actually just as painful.

"Hey, have you seen Owen?" Amelia asked Alex when the pediatric surgeon approached her and turned on the sink inside the scrub room.

"No, I haven't, is he going to join us?" Alex asked considerately. He knew Owen had helped out a lot and it made sense to have the guy there sharing that moment with the two of them.

"I don't know," Amelia replied with sincerity, trying to hide her disappointment.

"We better start though, it's getting late," Alex pointed out.

Amelia swallowed hard and agreed with a head nod. Secretly, she had been hoping Owen would appear but that didn't seem to be the case and like they said in the artistic world Kimmie loved so much, the show had to go on.

The entire plan Amelia was about to put in action did seem like a big show. The huge crowd upstairs in the OR gallery didn't intimidate Amelia as it once used to, she was far too used to an audience by now. Exactly like she'd planned so carefully, the neurosurgeon started the procedure, setting the time clock a fraction of second before her hands got busy.

Amelia lost track of time as she spent the following minutes carefully going through everything she and Alex had exhaustively revised. At some point, the heavy surgical glasses started to slide from her now sweaty face. And just as Amelia looked up to adjust them, a face stood out in the gallery, catching her attention.

By the corner of the room, Owen stood with his shoulder against the wall, his arms folded in front of his body with his usual chief in command posture that he never seemed to let go of. The notion brought a smile to Amelia's face and she noticed he was wearing a surgical gown on top of his navy scrubs, which could only mean he'd just gotten out of an OR.

At the exact moment their eyes met, Amelia's smile widened as she kept on staring at him. Despite her mask, Owen distinguished the expression on her face. And even though he didn't smile back, the trauma surgeon gave her an acknowledging head nod, almost as if saying he was positive she was doing a great job and should go on with it.

Amelia took a deep breath, grateful for his encouragement, at the same time his stern attitude alarmed her. But the neurosurgeon didn't have a lot of time to think about what it meant because right after their quick exchange of silent words, Owen turned around and left the room.

It wasn't until much later, when Kimmie was already comfortably resting in the pediatric ICU that Amelia finally realized the only reason why she wasn't fully enjoying the promising outcome of her daring procedure lay on the fact that her estranged relationship with Owen was driving Amelia more restless than she would have allowed it.

They couldn't keep doing that, Amelia thought. It was painful enough as it is, they really didn't need to add more confusion to a situation that already seemed impossible enough.

Too unhappy with the prospect of going home to spend the night with those haunting thoughts in her mind, Amelia found herself driving the familiar way to an adorable cozy house that had once filled her heart with the prospect of a better future.

.

Owen heard the loud sound of the doorbell and frowned in response. It was past eight in the evening and he really wasn't expecting any company. Placing the last clean plate on the cupboard above the sink, the surgeon dried his hands on a dishcloth and made his way to the living room.

To his uttermost surprise, he found Amelia standing on his doorway, looking like she had no idea what she was doing either.

"Hey," he greeted her after seconds of staring at each other. Owen frowned, preoccupied. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Amelia promptly replied with a half-hearted smile.

God, why had she allowed her impulsivity to get the best of her and didn't resist the urge to go see him? Staying at home thinking about Owen's sullen mood certainly wasn't inviting, but it was not like she could go out for a drink and forget about it. Amelia was tired after having spent nights in the lab for weeks. She just couldn't stand the back and forth of their relationship anymore, especially when deep down she knew she was responsible for a lot of that.

Owen kept staring at her, silently asking what was the purpose of that unannounced appearance. He knew he was being rude by not inviting her in, but the trauma surgeon just wasn't sure it was a good idea.

"I just wanted to thank you for helping me out with Kimmie's case," Amelia improvised, hoping she didn't sound like she was just making up an excuse. "I couldn't have done this without you."

Owen looked deeper into her eyes, seeing she meant it.

"You probably could have," he said without any trace of emotion. "But… you're welcome."

For some reason, having to resist the urge of carrying on a conversation with her was a lot harder than it had initially seemed.

"I am very positive she will have a good response to treatment," Amelia bit her lower lip, trying not to feel upset that he hadn't exactly asked about the case. She didn't know that Owen had stuck around afterhours and only gone home after he'd found out through colleagues how the procedure had gone. "It just makes me feel like I should celebrate it," she smiled, thinking about the time she'd gone up to his trailer after Nicole Herman's surgery. Amelia was wondering if he was recalling the same thing when she added, "how do you feel about going out to dinner?" the neurosurgeon proposed with a sheepish smile.

"Thank you, I just ate," Owen replied with his stern, unaffected tone.

Amelia was once again faced with his apparent indifference towards the situation. Her brother, her mom, her sisters… They've all done the same thing to her at some point in her life. It was like she was the misbehaved child and them, the ones who had every right to judge and criticize. Amelia hated it and her first instinct was to always talk back, push even more, bring up accusations and heatedly get into an argument.

But for some reason, whenever Owen treated her like that, it felt like her heart was breaking inside her chest. Because unlike her family, who had a moral obligation to put up with her even when they disagreed with her manners, Owen had always been able to understand and accept her for exactly who she was. So his rejection had a particularly painful effect.

"Owen…" Amelia bit her lower lip, unaware of where to start. "Why are you being like that?"

The way her eyes were filled with sadness as she looked up at him caught Owen completely off guard. Damn it, why did he always feel like a complete jerk whenever she stared with him with those beautiful eyes filled with so much sorrow and vulnerability?

"Amelia… I really don't think it's a good idea for us to do this," he said with a neutral, serious voice. Owen took a deep breath, pondering what to say because at the same time he didn't want to hurt or upset her, he also had to guard his own feelings. "You did an amazing thing with Kimmie's tumor and you should be proud of yourself. But it's over now and there is no reason why we should continue this," he added, unsure of what "this" really meant.

"I thought we had agreed to be friends," Amelia braced herself, sustaining his gaze with obvious disappointment. She had no idea where to start, but something had to be done to get them out of that awful position they'd found themselves stuck in.

"I am always around if you need me, but I can't be your friend."

His assertive affirmation alarmed Amelia, upsetting her more than she had seen coming. The neurosurgeon struggled with her thoughts for a while before finally asking.

"Why not?"

Owen didn't look away or tried to think of an excuse. She had gone through the trouble of showing up at his doorstep and he had no idea why.

"Because this little dance you do…" he tried to explain, struggling to find the right words. "This whole thing you pull off when you get me on the palm of your hand for a few days and then radically change overnight has gotten pretty exhausting," the trauma surgeon admitted with honesty. He saw on her face that she was deeply affected by his words but he couldn't shield her from the truth. The least he owed her was his honesty. "I really had convinced myself that all your erratic and crazy behavior had been because of your brain tumor," Owen added seeing her nod in agreement. "I just prefer to keep that as the truth in my head rather than to be proved wrong. So… I really think you should go."

Owen noticed how his words were processed as the expressions subtly changed on her face. He was just about to motion inside the house, giving her the cue to leave so he could finally close the door when Amelia's entire face became a scowl.

"What do you mean by that?" she asked in a louder, heated tone of voice.

"Amelia, let's not do this," Owen proposed after taking a deep breath. His heart was so broken and he felt so disappointed that he didn't want to deal with his emotions right now.

"No, no," Amelia angrily refuted him, stubbornly taking steps forward and entering the house. "I want to know," she demanded, focusing on her anger rather than her hurt. "What do you mean by my _erratic, crazy behavior_? Tell me."

Once inside the house, Amelia took off her black jacket, in an obvious sign that she was not going anywhere any time soon. With a sigh of resignation, Owen closed the door behind them before turning around to face her.

Amelia knew that the way she had acted had deeply hurt him. And that even though they had agreed to blame everything that had gone wrong in the tumor, never had the two of them really discussed things. It was a hard subject and probably a painful one for the two of them, but she couldn't take that awful, uncomfortable silence between them anymore. She had to know.

"You left, Amelia," Owen sighed again, extremely irritated to be forced into that conversation. "You surely don't need me to remind you of that, do you?" he asked, feeling his emotions shaking up too. "You left and I thought you had changed your mind so suddenly only because of your tumor… You know. Like when you fled the church on our wedding day," Owen listed, coldly looking into her eyes. "Or when you took off leaving me a freaking note days after spending the night in my arms planning to have a baby… Yeah, by the way, thank you for your consideration, I really appreciated how you took the time to write it down yourself," the trauma surgeon sarcastically added, taking one step in her direction with fury in his eyes.

Amelia was just as angry, but she also could feel tears pooling in her eyes. Owen was always very level-headed, probably because he was very good at keeping his emotions in check. But at some point, it had all caught up with him. Seeing him go from serene to that angry in a matter of seconds let her know that there were probably a lot of unresolved feelings lying beneath the surface. And even though it was painful, it was better for the two of them if he just let it out in the clear.

"What else?" she asked, too stubborn to allow his engulfing presence to intimidate her. Owen frowned, suddenly confused by her tenacity, so Amelia explained. "What else are you angry with me for?"

Her daring question caught Owen off guard. He looked into her eyes, wondering if that was just some kind of trick, if she was setting him up to make a move by the time he exposed himself. But that went against Amelia's kind nature and he hated himself for so easily succumbing to her.

"This is the moment you tell me, go on," Amelia insisted with a firm voice, making a huge effort not to give in to tears. She knew she had hurt Owen a lot but only now, after looking at him and seeing how much he struggled with his emotions was that she realized he probably had never really allowed himself to admit his feelings even to himself. "Why don't you want to talk to me anymore? You seemed to know just what to say ten seconds ago," she pushed him. "Come on, say it!"

"Are you seriously asking me this?" Owen hissed furiously. How could she not see it? How could she not have noticed that she'd gone from laughing with him and making lighthearted jokes about their time together to a painful, mind numbing silence the very next day? "Maybe you will find answers for your questions in your precious lab," he raised his voice, resentful for the way she had drowned in work at a moment when everything was too personal for him.

Owen understood there was a kid who needed help in the mix. But it didn't mean it hurt any less. Grabbing her jacket and roughly giving it to her, he looked at the door very suggestively.

"Are you kicking me out?" Amelia turned around and looked at him, extremely offended.

"No," Owen replied without hesitation. "I am kindly asking you to leave," he clarified, looking deeper into her eyes with his most intimidating, icy cold glare. "If you don't do it in the next thirty seconds, _then_ I am going to kick you out."

Amelia saw by the fierce determination in his eyes that he meant it. Never for a second she doubted that Owen could seriously grab her and force her out the door. But that wasn't enough to convince her to leave. Not now that they had finally started being honest about their feelings and perhaps even made progress regarding their unresolved issues.

"I am not going anywhere," she proudly stood up to him, hoping her attitude would make him think she was feeling more confident than she actually was at that moment. "Why are you angry with me? You have to tell me why. You have to say it."

"I don't have to tell you anything," Owen affirmed, wrapping his fingers around her arm to gently but firmly pull her towards the entrance to the house.

"Why are you so angry?" Amelia insisted. Deep down, she knew she was pushing him. But she also knew she had to because it was probably the first time Owen was finally accessing his emotions. It didn't surprise her he was in denial like that for Owen had always hated getting in touch with his own feelings. "You don't have to feel guilty about your feelings just because I had a brain tumor, you know," Amelia added, reading him like a book.

The neurosurgeon truly knew Owen and was well aware of how he always stepped up to take care of everyone he loved, at times neglecting taking care of himself.

The fact she'd been sick with a condition that altered her response to emotions surely had served to help him understand and forgive her. But it didn't mean Owen hadn't gone through what he had. Just like he'd pointed out moments before, she had left him and abandoned him multiple times. He had every reason to feel let down, upset and even angry. And Amelia supposed he had never had a chance or a space to talk about those feelings before, probably because Owen rejected them with all his heart.

"I want you to tell me how you feel!" she insisted.

"Amelia, stop!" Owen shouted, watching as she struggled to break free of his contact, insistently determined to stay.

"Why can't you just talk to me, Owen, why can't you just for once tell me what's bothering you?" she pulled her arm from his touch with force, enraging Owen even more with her unwillingness. He tried to get a hold of her again, but Amelia fiercely resisted, knowing he was one step away from losing control at the way she was pushing him. "Why is it so hard for you to say what's on your mind? Why can't you just admit that-"

"Because I love you!"

Amelia immediately stopped struggling as silence filled the air following the shouting answer that had finally overthrown her stubborn resistance to shut up.

The neurosurgeon tried to recover from the shocking confession at the same time she watched Owen turn his back on her and walk on the opposite direction as he ran his fingers through his hair, obviously frustrated.

She supposed Owen hadn't planned to say what he'd just said. And when he turned around, taking a deep breath before finally looking back at her, his expression confirmed it.

"I need you to leave, Amelia."

His voice didn't sound as angry anymore. Instead, it sounded broken, filled with so much hurt that Amelia instantly drowned in guilt.

"Owen…" she started, shyly walking in his direction but he took a few steps back, apparently rejecting any physical proximity with her. "I… I…"

"You don't have to say anything, please. Don't make any excuses," Owen proudly faced her, knowing he wouldn't bear her pity. "Just go. Please."

"No," Amelia defied him once again and walked in his direction. "Listen, I don't know why I came here, okay? I know I don't have rights to demand anything from you," she admitted with a shaken voice. "But I had to come… I… I got the file with our divorce papers this week," she confessed, instantly gaining his attention. Owen had just assumed she had gone there to propose they discussed it when she added, "I couldn't get myself to look at it."

Owen took a deep breath, trying not to see more than what she probably meant.

"I know you hate failure," he said, trying to convince himself that that was why she looked so upset. A divorce wasn't exactly the expected ending to any marriage. He could see why it would bother her. "But you will get over it. There is no need to-"

"I couldn't look it over and the reason why I couldn't," Amelia interrupted him, successfully foreseeing where he was going with that conversation and already letting him it wasn't true, "is because I kept thinking about the time we spent together this past week and how we got along so well…" she tried to contain her tears. "So, all of a sudden, _irreconcilable differences_ seemed a little far-fetched to me," Amelia bit her lower lip, tilting her head just as a shy smile crept on her face after she quoted the reason they had claimed on their divorce file.

Even though Owen kept looking at her, he stayed in silence. Amelia realized he was probably feeling exposed and she knew just how badly Owen coped with that.

"I didn't stop talking to you after our dinner because I am crazy or because I have an erratic behavior," Amelia said with conviction, seeing on his face he was feeling awful for his accusations. "I was avoiding you because I wasn't sure what it meant that I felt like that," she humbly admitted. "Owen, I know I hurt you… I know I was awful to you," she took a step closer, hoping he wouldn't back away. "So I know you are probably better off without me. I know I should just give you the divorce," Amelia rationally concluded, looking at him as the first tear rolled down her cheek. "I know it's the right thing for you… But I… I just…"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Owen asked in a husky, lower tone, fighting the urge to touch her as Amelia sniffed. "You could have told me."

"I needed to tell you how sorry I am that I hurt you," Amelia said with honesty. She looked into his eyes and saw so many emotions on his face that her heart got overwhelmed too. "I just didn't know how… I thought I was okay with our decision," Amelia confessed, thinking about the amicable way they had agreed to end their marriage. "I really thought it was the best way for us to get over what happened, but it turned out that I was just in denial," the neurosurgeon spoke from the heart. Amelia had no idea what exactly she was feeling, but instead of thinking about it, she decided to just surrender to her emotions and maybe finally get rid of all her confusion. "You told me we should end things and I agreed because I couldn't stand being in the same room with you anymore seeing how much you were hurting, seeing you so heartbroken about your sister and on top of that feeling like a burden to you…"

"You were never a burden to me," Owen interrupted her.

"After we got back from the hospital, everyday I would wake up in this house and plan what I should do to make you happier, to make up for what I put you through," Amelia looked around, assaulted by memories. She had no idea about the importance of what she was saying. Owen remembered that back then, he'd noticed Amelia had not been acting like herself. Instead, it felt like she had been walking on eggshells, visibly uncomfortable. At the time, he had supposed it was due to the fact she didn't really want to be there, having agreed to go only to honor a vow she had made. But her confession had taken him by surprise. "I wanted to find the right way to tell you that I was sorry for turning your life upside down, but you had so much going on, it was so much pressure on you that I just…" Amelia's voice trailed off as she relived those moments in her head. "I don't know why I didn't."

"It wasn't your fault," Owen assured her, meaning every word. "You were just out of surgery, Amelia… No one expected you to have a full grasp on your feelings."

"I knew what I was feeling," Amelia sobbed, urging to grab his hand in hers. She resisted it and wrapped her arms around herself instead. "I was having a hard time dealing with my conscience, though," the neurosurgeon looked at him with red eyes filled with regret. "You see, when I still didn't know about my diagnosis, I used to lie in bed at night and wonder why I was feeling so angry all the time, why it just felt like I couldn't control my emotions or hold back any impulse I had," she confessed. "And then I would drown in guilt because I knew I was hurting the people that I loved… But just like that, it was like something snapped inside of me and I got angry and resentful that no one seemed to understand me," she broke down, finally admitting that for the first time. Amelia still felt terribly guilty about what she'd done, even if she couldn't be held accountable for it. "I was scared and I felt like I was losing my mind… And it seemed like no matter what I did, I just couldn't make sense of my own emotions, of anything" Amelia struggled to keep talking. She looked up and met Owen's eyes, receiving an encouraging head nod in return. Feeling more at ease to share, Amelia continued with her confession, finally getting those awful memories off her chest. "When I woke up from surgery, it was hard and painful, not only because of the physical part but also because I had to come to terms with what I had done and I…"

"It wasn't your fault," Owen repeated, finally reaching out to her. He grabbed her hand at the same time he looked deeply into her eyes. "It wasn't your fault, Amelia. You didn't mean to do any of the things you did, you couldn't have controlled it, you…"

"It doesn't mean I didn't do it, though," she sobbed, looking up from their linked hands to his warm, understanding eyes. "I hurt you so much…" she cried, hoping with all her heart that he forgave her. Owen saw the way her eyes were drowning in tears and that hurt him more than anything she'd ever put him through. "You had every reason to hate me, to turn your back on me, but you always tried to understand me," Amelia gave in to tears, overwhelmed with the realization. The memories of how Owen had gone after her, time after time, added to his loving confession completely tore her apart because Amelia had never had that before in her life. "I am sorry, Owen… God, I am so sorry…"

Owen wrapped his arms around her at the same time Amelia broke down in his embrace, burying her face on his chest. He held her firmly, unable to withstand seeing her in so much pain.

"I am sorry I was such a jerk to you," Owen held her tighter, kissing the top of her head. He thought about the way he'd just treated her that night and felt awful about it.

When Amelia had first been diagnosed, it had been a horrible shock for everyone. He'd been by her side through the process and even though it had been incredibly painful, everyone had paid attention only to what it had meant physically for her because of her post op opioid refusal. Then, they had mostly focused on the relief to finally find the cause for her odd behavior and realize it wasn't a problem anymore.

But in amidst of all that, no one had really reached out to ask Amelia how she was feeling. She had probably been deeply scared for her own life and yet never said a word about it, keeping it all to herself. Amelia was so strong and had instantly assumed such a brave position regarding her tumor, often comforting others that Owen supposed that everyone, including him, had invariably failed to emotionally support her and reassure her as much as she probably needed to.

Gently breaking apart, Owen resisted the urge to pull her near again and hold her tightly for as long as he could. Instead, he held her face between his hands and looked deeply into her eyes.

"I wish you hadn't gone through all of this… I wish I could have somehow protected you from it," he affirmed, very seriously. At that moment, Amelia had no doubt that if he could, Owen wouldn't measure lengths to do exactly that. "And most of all, I wish I had tried harder when we should have tried harder."

Amelia didn't have to think to realize what he was talking about. At that very moment, she was having the exact same thoughts. Maybe if they hadn't agreed to separate after Owen had come home from his road trip with his sister, perhaps they would have already had this much needed conversation, sparing them from weeks of doubt and pain.

"We needed the time apart to figure this all out," Amelia nodded reassuringly, looking up to meet his eyes, unsure about how he was going to answer to that. Owen was always too hard on himself and didn't forgive his mistakes nearly as easily as he forgave hers. "If we hadn't done it, we wouldn't be here now."

"We could have been here now," Owen whispered without breaking eye contact with her.

"How?" Amelia didn't realize her voice sounded husky and low just as she seemed too mesmerized by his magnetic gaze. If they had insisted on living together, it was likely that up to this day, they were still uncomfortably sitting on opposite ends of their living room, both with more questions than answers on their minds.

"First, I could have tried this," Owen intensified his stare, swiftly leaning over her to brush his lips on her temple. Amelia closed her eyes at his unexpected touch, feeling shivers running down her spine with his proximity. She noticed he stayed motionless for a couple of seconds, as if waiting to see whether or not she would welcome his touch. Amelia answered his unasked question by taking her hands up and gently placing them on his chest. "And then, this," Owen added encouraged by her positive response, wrapping one arm around her waist as he pulled her near to breathe in the amazing scent of hair.

Amelia didn't realize she took a small step forward, practically ending to the gap between their bodies. Her breath was heavy and her eyes still closed when she stood on the tip of her toes, using his chest as support the moment Owen tightened his grip around her.

"What else?" she asked, feeling her pulse race as his face lingered so close to hers.

"This," Owen answered by using his lips to trace the curve between her neck and shoulder, slowly covering it with kisses.

Amelia gasped for air when she felt his touch, fiercely clinging to him for support.

"It probably would have worked," she embarked on his plot, finding it hard to resist anything he was doing.

Owen was enticing her and not only with that electrical physical tension. Mostly, he was seducing her with the way he was letting his walls down and exposing himself to her with no reservations. Amelia wanted more than anything to hold him in her arms through the entire night and comfort him for everything they'd gone through in the past months. She wanted to kiss away all the memories of their heartbreak, to feel his strong embrace around her and be reminded of what being safe really felt like. Amelia longed to lose herself in his touch, to see his crystal blue eyes getting darker with passion as he loved her once and then again and again until all pain was gone, replaced by a feeling of bliss only Owen was capable of providing.

"Would it?" he smiled, gently kissing her forehead and pulling her near. When he turned his head down to look at her, Amelia felt his warm breath mixing with hers and gently parted her lips, silently inviting him to what she knew was about to happen.

"Yes," she managed to moan in response before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling Owen down for a kiss.

He was surprised by her move but absolutely pleased. Owen kissed her with passion, keeping her tightly captured in his embrace at the same time he deepened their kiss. Soon enough, she was breathless, driving him to bury his face on the curve of her shoulder and focus on exploring her neck with gentle bites and caresses as she gasped for air.

"What are we doing…?" Amelia asked during a momentary glimpse of rationality. Following her question, Owen's hand slipped inside her shirt, swiftly running up her back. The contact of the palm of his hand with her skin caused a rush of blood to run throughout her entire body, awakening all of Amelia's senses. It was like she had just been electrically charged and now, more than ever, she desperately wanted to be with him.

"What we should have done weeks ago," Owen replied with a somber voice, pulling apart to look at her. "You are not leaving again, Amelia," he affirmed with conviction as he struggled between looking into her eyes or at her lips. "Tell me you are staying for the night."

Amelia saw the determined look on his face as he stared at her, waiting for an answer. She swallowed hard, trying not to think about the consequences of that decision that was already made the minute he captured her in his arms.

"I am staying," Amelia replied at the same time she closed her eyes. Owen dug the fingers of his free hand in her hair, causing another shockwave of pleasure to run through her body.

Amelia didn't notice that she failed to say just how long she was staying for. Her usual highly functional brain just didn't seem to be working very well at that moment, giving room to her most primitive sensations instead. As Amelia fought to keep some of her sanity, Owen's lips claimed hers again in yet another hungry kiss. And just like that, the last rational thought vanished from Amelia's mind at the exact moment Owen wrapped both arms around her waist, slowly taking her to what had once been their bedroom.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you everyone for the encouragement and support with this story!

 **Maybe This Time – Chapter 5**

The room was nearly immersed in total darkness, but through a thin ray of moonlight coming through the window Amelia was able to identify the book placed on Owen's nightstand, opposite to her.

After she was done exploring the place with her eyes, Amelia diverted her gaze to the man who was now comfortably sleeping next to her. Apparently, Owen had been reading one of her books that she'd left behind after moving out. The realization brought a happy smile to her face and she felt even closer to him.

Owen was deeply asleep, his relaxed facial expression a complete contrast to the fierce, strong look he usually had on. Amelia felt her heart fluttering when she thought about the passionate moments they'd shared on that bed only a few hours before.

After their deeply emotional exchange in the living room, she had cried in Owen's arms while he also let his walls down for her. Through a heartfelt conversation, they had finally been able to voice their feelings and properly apologize for their mistakes. And when all the pain was finally exposed, they had comforted each other, first with words and then in the way only Owen was allowed to comfort her.

Amelia had never felt this intimate to someone before. Sure, she had had relationships with guys she had liked, maybe loved even. But it had never felt exactly like _this_. With Owen, it simply felt like it was more. As if she wasn't sharing just her body, but mostly her heart and her soul. And the most amazing part of it all was that not only Owen did the same, he also seemed to be just as awed by that new reality as she was. No one had ever made Amelia feel that loved, cherished and safe, all at the same time. Owen was the only one who had that huge impact on her and she was determined to keep it that way.

When he had asked her to stay for the night, Amelia didn't even hesitate before saying yes. She had wanted that night with him more than anything and even though she was sure that at some point they'd have to sit down and talk about what it really meant, she didn't regret her decision. Her body was still ignited in every single place his hands and lips had touched. Owen was a generous lover and he'd proved that through the whole two hours they'd spent together before he'd finally fallen asleep, defeated by physical and mental exhaustion.

Amelia had dozed off quickly after too, but now she was too blissful to actually relax properly. Unable to resist the urge, she gently touched his face with her fingertips, hoping she wouldn't wake him up.

Very slowly, Amelia traced the outline of his face, smiling with joy when she felt his arm tightening its grip around her waist to pull her closer. Even in his sleep Owen could be possessive and demanding. Not that she minded, actually. It felt amazing to be touching him while she distracted herself with the masculine angle of his jaw.

Owen slowly regained conscience, secretly fighting his sleep. His body and mind were too relaxed, but when his eyes opened for the first time, what he saw enchanted him so much that he didn't feel like going back to sleep anymore.

Amelia was staring at him with a sweet, adorable lazy smile while she traced the outline of his face with one of her fingers. After noticing he was awake, the neurosurgeon still didn't say a word; instead she brought her head closer, nearly touching the tip of her nose to his as she kept intensely looking at him with that gorgeous pair of silver eyes.

The day before had begun horribly, with him drowning in doubt, guilt and anger and not really sure how to deal with those emotions. Later on, Amelia had surprised him by showing up at his doorstep and, to Owen's sheer satisfaction, she'd spent the night wrapped in his arms, right where she belonged.

After seeing the joyful expression on her face, Owen returned her smile, feeling just as happy as she seemed to be. His hand went around her waist and up her bare back, pulling her against him at the same time Amelia's thumb gently brushed his lips.

"You have pretty lips," she decided, widening her grin. Owen chuckled in response to her unexpected comment and watched the satisfaction in her eyes. "I mean it," Amelia reinforced after seeing the incredulity on his face.

Owen kept busy exploring the softness of her skin against his touch, marveled by her spontaneity and plain adorableness. It was no secret Amelia that didn't have a filter, and long ago he'd noticed she wasn't the kind of person who'd say something nice about someone because she had an agenda. So he didn't doubt she was serious about her unusual compliment. Not that he was sure having his lips called _pretty_ was in fact a compliment, to be honest.

"You say the darnedest things," Owen joked, loving the way she laughed in response. He didn't wait until she caught her breath, leaning over to kiss her smiling lips.

After they broke apart, Amelia remained lying by his side in bed, feeling like she would never get enough of that moment.

"Stop looking at me like that," Owen said after a while of silently staring at each other. His voice was serious but the playful look on his face betrayed his intentions.

"Like what?" Amelia smiled mischievously, openly flirting.

"Like you're going to cost me my job," Owen explained, "if you keep smiling like that you're only going to make me keep you here in bed all day long," he heard her delightful laughter in response and rolled to her top.

"Would that be so bad?" Amelia provoked him, swiftly running her fingers on the extension of his arms and shoulders to finally wrap them around his neck.

Owen looked deeply into her eyes, noticing the relaxed, happy expression on her face.

"No," he muttered in response right before kissing her lips with desire.

Amelia gladly took up on his initiative, kissing him back with just as much passion. The previous night had been amazing and this morning was no different. Except before, there had been too much built up tension, causing their time together to be intense and explosive.

This time around it was like they were slowly getting back to their usual synchrony, though. Amelia knew there was absolutely no rush, just as she knew she'd enjoy every single step of the way and longed for it. As Owen's lips traced a downward path on her neck, she arched her back, eager for what she knew was coming next. Even though it was exciting and fun, Amelia forced herself to be patient because she wanted to make the most of their time together.

"I missed this," she confessed, running a hand through his hair and gently scratching his scalp in an affectionate caress. "I missed you," Amelia added when Owen brought his head up to look into her eyes.

She watched as his expression transformed when he heard her words. A happy, loving smile stood out on his face as he smoothed her hair, gently pulling a brown lock from her face.

"Me too," he replied with a whisper, leaning over to whisper in her ear. "So much…"

Amelia felt the touch of his lips at the same time she buried her face on the crook of his neck, too pleased to have him that close. His hands traveled through the whole extension of her body as his lips followed suit. When she thought it couldn't get any better, Owen disappeared beneath the covers, spending the next minutes entirely dedicated to giving her pleasure.

Amelia's hands dug in his scalp as she pulled him nearer, too overwhelmed with pleasure to have any rational response to the sensation his tongue was causing. Before she could control it, her entire body seized with a delirious response that left her out breath and Owen absolutely satisfied.

"I have to admit," Owen confessed with a smirk, too proud to hide it, "this has become my favorite thing to watch," he added, obviously referring to Amelia's climax.

She gazed at him, smiling widely between heavy breaths.

"I can't complain," Amelia provoked him back, pulling him closer.

Owen kissed the smile off her face, feeling his heart fluttering with absolute adoration for the woman who was capable of not only sexually charging him, but also of emotionally involving him in a web of love and affection he simply never got tired of.

"I want you," Amelia declared, rolling over him to take control of the situation. Owen grinned with satisfaction as he watched her straddle him, staying on the perfect position to absolutely torment him with the sway of her hips. He allowed Amelia to take the lead, feeling shivers running through his spine once her hands started to slowly run on the extension of his arms until their fingers intertwined and she pushed theirs hands against the pillows.

"You can absolutely have me," Owen joked in return, delighted and totally pleased by the kisses she was now planting on his chest.

"You know…" Amelia's voice turned into a whisper as she reveled in the smooth, warm texture of his skin, "when we were just back from the hospital," she said, and Owen knew she was talking about the time he'd asked her to move back in when she had been discharged after her tumor removal, "I used to lie here on this same bed at night and think about how much I wanted to do this…" Amelia slowly traced a path of kisses from his chest all the way up to his neck, absolutely unaware of how much her confession meant to him. The honesty of her words messed with her own emotions and Amelia didn't hesitate before letting go and saying everything that her heart was feeling. "And this…" she added with the same husky voice, capturing his earlobe between her teeth, causing Owen to feel a mix of pleasure and adoration for her. "Or this," Amelia breathed in and out, finally letting go of his fingers to cradle his face between her hands, gently brushing her lips on his. She saw the look of expectation in his eyes. Owen was so good to her, so generous. He loved her without expecting anything in return and she was determined to never again take that for granted, hoping that she could only make him as happy as he made her. "Owen, I am so sorry," Amelia apologized again, looking deeply into his eyes. Owen noticed how anguished she looked and in that moment, he had no doubt she meant every word she was saying.

"I know," he said with an understanding smile, using one finger to wipe an unshed tear from her eye. "You don't have to apologize again, sweetheart. I know…" he comforted her, pulling Amelia for an embrace at the same time he rolled over her, keeping her trapped under his body and between his arms. "I have already forgiven you," Owen gently pulled apart, smiling with adoration in his eyes as he touched his forehead to hers, as if he could look into her soul. Amelia still seemed upset and at that moment, Owen surprised himself, because he thought he couldn't love that amazing woman more than he already did and yet he constantly found himself falling harder for her. "Now it's time for you to forgive yourself," he reminded her, hating to see her in pain.

Amelia's mix of sorrow and relief clogged her throat when she took in the meaning of his words. The sensations Owen had just caused on her body were now mixing with the emotions he was giving her, causing the neurosurgeon to feel more vulnerable than she'd felt until now.

"I am scared, Owen…" Amelia admitted with a sheepish voice.

"Why?" Owen frowned slightly, caressing her cheek with his thumb.

"Because," Amelia looked straight into his eyes as she let all her walls down, "whenever I am this happy, something bad happens and screws it all up," she painfully remembered, thinking back about each and every happy time of her life. "Usually, _I_ screw it all up."

Owen chuckled, unable to resist her.

"Nothing bad is going to happen," he reassured Amelia with absolute conviction. "All the bad stuff we went through, the shame, the guilt?" he looked into her eyes very suggestively. "It's all gone, now. For good," Owen said with determination. Both he and Amelia had seen enough hurt and heartbreak for a lifetime and he was determined to never let her go through any other nightmare, ever again. "Nothing bad is going to happen because I won't let it," he said with security.

Amelia stayed in silence for the following seconds, apparently having an internal battle with her own emotions.

"Promise?"

Owen couldn't help smiling with affection when he saw the look on her face. Amelia's child-like expression instilled the most primitive protection instincts in him. When she looked at him looking so small and vulnerable with so much expectancy and trust in her eyes it completely tore him apart. He would do everything within his power to make sure she only had reasons to smile from now on. And that began now.

"I promise."

Owen sealed his vow with a kiss that promptly reignited their passion. Amelia responded to his touch by giving back in the same rhythm as he gave her. And when Owen was sure he couldn't take it any longer, he finally ended their agony, thinking that nothing in the world felt so good as when Amelia's legs were wrapped around him and he buried himself deep inside her, drowning them in the most delirious fits of pleasure.

.

"Why are you acting so weird?"

Amelia's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Meredith's surprised voice.

"What?"

"You have a lost look on your face, like you're miles from here," the general surgeon clarified, squinting conspicuously. "Are you daydreaming again?"

"No," Amelia tried to sound convincing.

Of course she was lying. Her mind really did feel like it was miles from there because even though she had a patient's chart in her hand, all she could think about was Owen.

And how the world seemed to have suddenly stopped when he'd loved her that morning.

"Are those Kimmie's results?" Meredith asked, finally bringing Amelia back down to earth.

"Uh," the neurosurgeon blinked twice before focusing on the lab files again. "Yes! Yes, they are," she nodded, already tuned back to the present moment. Her patient's latest exams showed no acute abnormalities in the critical hours post procedure. Amelia had every reason to assume everything was working out. "My main concern is to make sure her renal function remains alright after the protein I injected her with, but so far so good," she stated with a proud smile. "Properly functioning kidneys," Amelia added with an excessively happy smile.

"You're weird," Meredith let out a sigh before rolling her eyes and finally devoting herself to the charts she'd come to the desk to get.

"Yeah, tell me something new," Amelia replied unaffectedly, grabbing her things before leaving the area. She really didn't want to give the other surgeon the chance to ask why she hadn't gone home the previous night, choosing to let her believe that she'd stayed at the hospital for Kimmie.

The thought about the night she'd just had brought back a smile to Amelia's face. She longed to be with Owen again and meet him at the house later that night. The neurosurgeon still had no idea how she would justify another night of absence to her sisters, but she could worry about that later. For the time being, she preferred that whatever was happening between she and Owen remained only between the two of them. It was already complicated enough trying to figure it all out without involving other people.

What were they, anyway? Was there a category they could fit in? Judging by what she'd seen lately, the possibilities were endless these days, and everything had a label to choose from. Maybe _friends with just too many benefits that also happened to be soul mates and actually had divorce papers waiting to be signed_ was actually a thing now? Amelia had no idea, but her silly thoughts made her chuckle. Nodding her head in disapproval to her own sarcastic ideas, she pushed the elevator button, too distracted to see who was passing by around her until the loud _ding_ of the doors opening finally brought her back to reality.

"Hi," a thin brunette woman walked past her, entering the elevator and waiting for her to do the same. "You're not coming in?" she asked after hesitating.

Amelia took a fraction of second to realize she was once again wandering inside her mind and took a step forward, finally allowing the doors to close.

Carina DeLuca was looking at her, but at the moment Amelia gazed back, the other woman looked away, apparently too embarrassed to be caught staring.

After the morning Amelia had walked in on Carina having breakfast with Owen, the two of them hadn't really interacted much. And the fact the Italian doctor knew she had slept with the husband of the woman standing right next to her added a whole new load of tension to thicken the already awkward atmosphere.

"Hot day today, isn't it?" Carina started, obviously trying to make small conversation. That short elevator ride seemed to be taking longer than usual. "It's always rainy and chilly here but today it's incredibly warm."

"It's funny you said how we went from a chilling cold to a comfortable warmth," Amelia lied with an evil grin. "I could swear someone else had the exact same impression earlier this morning."

Carina didn't fully understand the meaning of the neurosurgeon's words, but she figured it was better not to ask.

"How is your little patient doing?" the obstetrician asked with her thick accent. Like everyone else at the hospital, she'd heard about the Kimmie's case and sympathized with the plight. "I heard she had surgery yesterday."

"It wasn't exactly surgery, but yeah, she got her procedure and she is doing fine, thank you," Amelia nodded, grateful for the other's seemingly genuine interest. "Are you working on any more of those cool MRI cases today?" she asked, immediately regretting it.

Suddenly, associating Carina DeLuca with orgasms didn't seem so amusing as it had once been.

"Not really," Carina replied with a smile, glad to be talking about work. "I am actually working with Pierce and Hunt in the ER today," the obstetrician elaborated. "One of Robbins' patients collapsed during grocery shopping. Pierce thinks she had an atrial fibrillation, Hunt is worried about her mildly ruptured liver," Carina explained. "I am just hoping she won't go into premature labor."

Amelia didn't exactly register those words because just as she obstetrician mentioned Owen's name, she had been surprised with how much it had actually bothered her to hear that Owen and Carina were working together.

When the obstetrician walked out of the elevator after saying goodbye, Amelia was still distracted with her own thoughts. She was just being stupid, she told herself. Owen and Carina obviously hadn't had anything meaningful. Just like she and Koracick, whatever had happened between the two of them had been purely physical and clearly not that deep. It was no secret that the Italian surgeon was still into Arizona Robbins, just as Amelia was sure that Owen had meant every one of his words when he'd told her he loved and missed her.

Amelia spent the following minutes pondering why she felt so annoyed all of a sudden. Okay, maybe she was _a little_ jealous of Carina because she'd slept with Owen. But that wasn't enough to justify her sudden restlessness. There had to be something else she couldn't quite grasp at that moment. And just like it happened whenever her mind was racing with emotions she couldn't quite figure out, the neurosurgeon chose to focus on work, realizing at least there she'd find answers to her questions.

.

Despite Amelia's best efforts to leave the hospital at a decent hour, work got the best of her and it was already late when she finally wrapped everything for the day. Even though she wasn't living with Owen anymore, for some reason the house he'd bought felt a lot more like home than Meredith's place.

Two knocks on the door was all it took for Owen to welcome her with a tight hug and a playful kiss on the tip of her nose.

"You took forever," he complained but it was obvious on his expression he was the happiest to see her.

"Did you think I was going to bail on you?" Amelia smiled against his lips, seeing in his eyes that the idea had definitely crossed his mind, but he was too kind to say it. "I am not going anywhere this time, Owen. I mean it," she assured him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him closer.

"It's not like I was going to let you, anyway," Owen raised his eyebrows playfully, determined to pass the matter off lightly and keep a comfortable atmosphere between them. "I hope you're hungry," he added, looking into her eyes. Amelia didn't look like she had any intention to let go of their hug and he loved it. "I made us dinner."

"I am starved," she confessed, feeling her heart skip a beat when he looked so obviously satisfied. Amelia looked from the living room to the kitchen, noticing that apparently Owen had been busy. "Can I take a shower first, though? I spent the entire day at the hospital," she justified, reluctant to sit down to dinner with him after being in and out of the OR and ICU all day.

"If I had known, I would have waited for you," Owen answered with a spark in his eyes. Amelia then noticed his comfortable pajama pants and a grey T-shirt.

"I won't be long," the neurosurgeon promised, standing on the tip of her toes to give him a peck on the lips before running to the shower.

Even from a distance, Amelia caught the delicious smell coming from the kitchen as Owen finished preparing their meal. Fifteen minutes later, she returned from the bathroom, delighting Owen with the sight of her naked thighs suggestively disappearing under one of his shirts that unsurprisingly were too large for her.

There was something extremely sexy about watching the woman he loved in his own clothes. Not only Amelia looked absolutely cute on them, she also reminded him that she was obviously comfortable in his presence. And then there was the fact that it made Owen feel like she was his, and no one else's.

"The food smells amazing, when can we eat?"

"I am just setting the table," Owen replied.

"Let me help," Amelia stepped up to get the plates, thinking it was the least she could do. "What's under that bowl?" she asked with a contaminating smile, her charming dimples dancing on her cheeks as she looked at him.

"A string of garlic," Owen replied with a fake solemn voice, looking in her direction with his eyes darkened by desire. "To hang around your neck." Amelia threw her head back in a fit of laughter that broke all of his defenses and Owen couldn't hold a wide smile any longer.

"I thought that was for vampires only," she said approaching him and the food he'd prepared.

"No, it works for evil little witches too," Owen playfully added, absolutely delighted by her smile.

"But really, what's under the bowl?" Amelia looked at him with sheer joy. "What did you cook for us?" she didn't wait for his answer and lifted the top of a pan.

"There is garlic bread for appetizers and fettuccini Alfredo for dinner," Owen finally answered, seeing on her face that she'd definitely approved it. He wasn't surprised, though. His choice of dish had not been a coincidence.

Amelia looked at the beautiful creamy sauce she'd smelled from the bathroom. Her empty stomach was now more than ever craving for food that probably tasted as wonderful as it looked.

Still amazed by her own thoughts and anxious to sit down to eat, the neurosurgeon distractedly asked:

"That's one hell of a good menu," she smiled playfully but her compliment was honest. "And what's for dessert?"

"You."

His lack of hesitation and serious tone amused her, and Amelia looked up to meet Owen's intense gaze. By the time she processed his answer, she was already laughing contagiously again. Owen chuckled as he reveled in her happiness, thinking that he wouldn't mind if every other evening of his life went exactly like this.

After they had dinner, the pair sat down on the couch to watch TV. Owen had to be honest and admit that even though he was trying his hardest to pay attention to the movie, it was getting increasingly more difficult to do so when Amelia kept moving in his arms, reminding him at every ten seconds that she really was there, that they were really together. Her small figure was gently weighing against his as Amelia lay down with her upper body on his lap, holding his hand between her own at all times.

"You'll spend the night again, right?" he whispered in her ear before gently capturing her earlobe with his lips.

Amelia chuckled with the ticklish touch of his trimmed beard against the skin of her neck.

"Of course," she shifted in his arms, forgetting all about what was on TV as she rolled opposite to it, facing Owen instead. "There's something I've been thinking since earlier today…" Amelia started, unsure how to tackle the subject. At the same time she really was determined to communicate better with Owen from now on, it wasn't exactly that easy either and it would probably take practice.

"Go on," he encouraged her, just as eager to make sure they could talk about anything.

"Remember when I came to the house that day I was going back to work after my surgery?" Amelia finally brought up the uncomfortable subject that involved their separation. In her room in Meredith's house, Owen's wedding ring was still well kept inside one of her drawers. She knew eventually they'd have to make a decision about their marriage and their impeding divorce, but they didn't have to jump straight to deciding at the moment. They needed, however, to make sure they were on the same page. After seeing on Owen's face that he was keeping up with her, the neurosurgeon added "we agreed at the time that we would be friends, right?" she inquired, seeing the confirmation in his eyes. "And well… We also agreed that we could talk to each other about the people we were dating and-"

"What?" Owen interrupted her, suddenly not following the conversation anymore.

"You know…" Amelia bit her bottom lip, unsure of how to address what she wanted to say. "We had this conversation and agreed that we would openly talk like friends if we were dating other people-"

"Are you saying you want to date someone else?" Owen interrupted her again, obviously bothered by the idea.

"No," Amelia chuckled, feeling like a huge weight had just been lifted off her shoulders with his response. "I am saying that I don't."

"Oh," Owen finally understood why she'd brought up the subject and smiled, just as happy and relieved. "Fine, then," he kissed the top of her head with affection. "Let's forget we ever agreed to that."

The trauma surgeon also knew that eventually, they would have to decide where their marriage was going and talk about if they still wanted the same things or not to make sure what they should do about the divorce. They were trying again and both were clearly invested in making it work, but they didn't have to rush into anything that would probably only add pressure to their already fragile reconciliation. For the time being, he would settle for having Amelia in his arms and spending time with her.

And especially, he would settle for not sharing her with anyone else.

"Good," her voice distracted Owen from his thoughts. "I spent the whole day so stressed over this," Amelia admitted, unaware of how much she was touching him. "I didn't even realized I was bothered until I was actually faced with the idea of you seeing other people… It took me a while but I finally realized that and thought we should talk about it… You know, just to be clear."

Owen smiled, too pleased by her confession. He had spent so much time unsure about so many things, including her feelings, that now he couldn't pass up an opportunity to hear her talk about them every time she brought up the subject.

"Why were you so bothered, though?" Owen teased, hoping she would admit she was jealous.

Amelia brought her head up from her chest to look deeply into his eyes.

"Because I love you."

Owen was taken by surprise by the sweet sound of her words and wrapped her tighter in his arms, kissing her with passion. He'd provoked her expecting Amelia to respond with jealousy, but she'd given him something infinitely better in return. Owen knew she had used the same sentence she'd unknowingly forced him to say the day before, and her consideration and smart manners only added to the affection in his heart. He simply loved her with everything he had.

"So…" when they pulled apart, Amelia looked into his eyes with a smile that mixed tenderness and mischief, sneakily grabbing back his hand. "Does that mean you're my boyfriend now?" she teased, kissing his fingers before biting his knuckles.

Owen seemed confused for a moment.

"No," he joked, seeing the momentarily apprehensive look on her face before he clarified. "I can't be your boyfriend," Owen tilted his head and teased her, "you see, technically, I am your husband."

"Okay, but I want you to be my boyfriend too," Amelia insisted like that was the final decision.

Owen couldn't think of a response to give, settling for kissing her instead. He wanted the same thing. He wanted to date her and take care of her as much as she would allow him. Amelia was amazing and he loved everything about her. Her looks seduced him, her wit impressed him and most of all, her caring heart completely broke all of his defenses. All Owen knew at that moment was that he wanted her in his life forever.

Amelia kept on teasing him, playfully nudging his nose with hers and distracting Owen with kisses in the most important parts of the movie. By the time it was over, he had already trapped her under his body on the couch and made love to her with torturing ease.

As they went to bed that night, Amelia's mind was too relaxed to think about anything else. The neurosurgeon knew she couldn't change what had already happened, but the moments she was living now were a vast improvement compared to what the past few months had been. As she lay in bed in Owen's arms, quickly falling asleep inside his soothing embrace, Amelia didn't yet have any idea of just her life was about to alter even more. Just minutes before on the couch of their living room, a seed had just been planted. A big change was about to happen, first in her body but then in her life and Owen's.

And dealing with the tiny new addition that was about to come would surely serve to shape, modify and completely improve their entire future.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys, thanks for all the support! Here goes another update:

 **Maybe This Time – Part 6**

"Hey, you busy?"

Amelia turned her eyes from the computer screen she'd been studying and noticed the look of uncertainty on Maggie's face.

"Just checking some scans," Amelia replied gleefully, logging off the system to give Maggie her full attention. "What's up?"

The neurosurgeon noticed how her tense her friend seemed. Maggie was walking back and forth, hesitantly alternating between making eye contact with Amelia just to break it right after.

"It's just that I…" Maggie's voice broke off. She was usually very good at expressing herself but at this moment, words were failing her. The topic was embarrassing enough, but of all people she knew, Amelia was the one she felt the most comfortable with to discuss it. "I know you probably have never been through this, but I need your advice."

"You need my advice?" Amelia grinned like an eight-year-old who'd just been told she was smarter than the fifth graders. "What is it?"

Maggie once again engaged in long seconds of trying to think of what to say.

"Oh, damn it, Maggie, just say it already," Amelia rolled her eyes with pretend impatience, but she was still gloating that her friend had come to her for help.

"Well… You know Jackson and I are seeing each other, right?" Maggie took it from the start, watching as Amelia nodded affirmatively with her head. "It's just that we… we haven't really…"

"You haven't had sex yet," Amelia finished the sentence for her with sheer practicality. After seeing the look of surprise and relief on Maggie's face, she explained, "yeah, I figured. You wouldn't be this worked up about anything else."

"I would be worked up about many other things, actually," Maggie laughed nervously.

"You probably would," Amelia joked, loving how embarrassed the other seemed. "But yeah, what about it?"

Maggie took a deep breath, finally settling for confessing what was bothering her.

"Well… You know, it's just that things are evolving," the thoracic surgeon sheepishly started. Amelia knew Jackson had taken her on a few dates over the past couple of weeks, which was actually very convenient for her at the moment because it meant Maggie wasn't spending that much time at home and therefore didn't notice how absent Amelia had been too. "I am pretty sure we will have sex soon. And at the same time, I really want to go through with it, I am nervous about it."

"That's completely normal, Maggie," Amelia reassured her, seeing the look of confusion on her friend's face. "I am sure you're not the only one who's feeling self-conscious about it. He probably is too."

"I doubt it," Maggie confessed, keeping her tone low. "I don't have a lot of… experience. And Jackson! Well, it's obvious he is very experienced, he is actually…"

"That's not how it works," Amelia smiled widely at the same time she put both hands inside her coat pockets. "Wait, is that why you said I probably have never been through this at the beginning of this conversation?" the neurosurgeon frowned with a mix of surprise and amusement.

"I didn't mean it as a bad thing!" Maggie tried to fix it, mortified that Amelia might have been offended, but judging by the amusement on the neurosurgeon's face, it looked more like she was having fun with the conversation. "It's just that… I don't know, I hate to confess this but I am afraid that Jackson will have all these expectations and I won't know what to do," she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself and looked deeply into Amelia's blue eyes. "And I doubt you've ever been through that… You know… because you're good in bed and you are not afraid to say it."

"Maggie," Amelia laughed at Maggie's impression and smiled with comprehension, suddenly assaulted by memories. "Of course I have been through that."

The thoracic surgeon looked at her friend as if Amelia wasn't making any sense. Even though she had the spontaneity of a child, Amelia was a very sexy woman and she always talked without inhibition about her sexuality. Maggie just couldn't associate her with someone who was self-conscious about sex.

"Yeah?" Maggie frowned, doubtful. "Are you saying that just to make me feel better?" she asked with a smile, feeling extremely grateful for Amelia's consideration.

"No, I am not lying," Amelia chuckled, finding it funny how Maggie seemed bothered by the situation.

"You told me that when you lost your virginity you took charge of the situation," Maggie recalled. Once, when they had been discussing their first times, Amelia had shared that her first guy had been her childhood neighbor who, despite older, also didn't have any experience, prompting Amelia to take control. Amelia always talked about sex as if it was the most natural thing of the world, and she had no problem voicing out what she liked and what was a deal breaker for her. In Maggie's eyes, Amelia's self-confidence about sex and how good she was at it could be intimidating. The thoracic surgeon had never been like that. "If even on your first time you were already getting a guy in the palm of your hand, when could you have possibly felt nervous about being with someone?"

Amelia smiled, for the first time in that conversation feeling slightly shy.

"In my first time with Owen," she confessed. Maggie's reaction was evident on her face.

"Really?" the thoracic surgeon frowned heavily.

"Of course," Amelia bit her lower lip, touched by how hard it was for Maggie to hide her emotions sometimes. Straightening in her chair, Amelia took a deep breath before recalling the events. Maggie and Meredith still didn't know she and Owen had been seeing each other for the past weeks, but back when Amelia had first married him, they knew how deeply in love she had been. "Maggie," Amelia held her hands and squeezed them reassuringly, looking deeply into the eyes of the woman she considered a sister. "I've had a lot of fun in my life. A lot," she smiled, knowing Maggie knew exactly what she was talking about, "but when you meet someone you like, suddenly it's not only about the fun anymore," the neurosurgeon recalled. "It's more. Even though I had been with guys before and I was pretty confident about my sexuality, I still spent some nights losing my sleep over Owen," Amelia confessed.

Maggie seemed to respond well to that, probably because it was something she could relate to, Amelia figured. Her friend was a romantic and Amelia knew it.

Unlike Amelia, Maggie had probably never dissociated sex from romantic feelings.

"It's a thing I have learned recently," Amelia shared, happy that she was having the opportunity to talk about an experience that she wasn't exactly fully grasping just yet. "But I think the thing is, it wasn't until Owen that I found out I could be equally attracted to a guy both with my heart and… well… the other organs in my body."

"That was very romantic," Maggie teased her, but it became clear to Amelia that her friend was relaxing a bit.

"I meant my brain," Amelia shamelessly smirked.

"Yeah, I know you did," Maggie played along.

Amelia chuckled heartily. Deep down it was true though. The human brain was the most powerful organ. It was capable of processing every feeling and every emotion. Owen had stolen her heart, but for some reason, it felt like he was deeply imprinted in her brain as well.

"Before, when I slept with random guys, I didn't care much what they thought of me. I probably wasn't going to see them again, anyway," Amelia admitted with honesty. "But then I met Owen… I don't know, it was different," she took a deep breath. Just that morning, he had woken her up with a trail of kisses on her neck and a steamy mug of coffee, which they'd shared right before he finished undressing her. "When you're with someone you actually care about, someone you have feelings for, then it's not just about sex. So it really doesn't matter if you are a dominatrix or a virgin, it's going to be good because of the feelings and all," Amelia recalled, seeing how her words were helping Maggie. It was probably what her friend felt but was too self-conscious to confess. "When Owen and I slept together for the first time, I wasn't taking control of anything and everything like you seem to think I did every time I slept with someone… Hell, I was so nervous about it. I liked him so much that I wanted our first time to be perfect," Amelia smiled shyly at her confession. "And I was terrified that he wasn't going to like it."

"That's exactly how I feel!" Maggie sighed, utterly relieved that someone understood her.

"It's going to be fine, Maggie," Amelia smiled with reinvigorated affection for the friend she liked so much. "That is perfectly normal. I didn't know this at the time because I had all those expectations for our night but I was really afraid that I wasn't going to meet his expectations… but it turned out to be amazing and Owen was amazing," the neurosurgeon didn't realize she now had a wide, loving smile on her own face but it didn't go unnoticed to Maggie. "When I talked to him about it much later, he confessed to me that he was nervous too, even though at the time it didn't look like it," Amelia recalled, thinking about how Owen had taken charge of the situation and completely seduced her, giving her more pleasure than she'd ever considered possible getting. "I guess it's what happens when you care this much about someone," Amelia tilted her head to the side, pensively. "If it doesn't mean anything, then you won't get all nervous about it… but if you are feeling this way, it means you like Jackson. He is probably just as insecure about it as you are, Maggie. Even if it right now it doesn't feel like it. Trust me. I know."

Maggie smiled at her with a mix of gratitude and something that resembled longing and sorrow.

"Thanks, Amelia," she said with honesty. Hearing that her confident friend had once gone through exactly what she was processing right now made Maggie feel a little less awkward about the whole situation. But the way Amelia had spoken about it made her heart ache with sympathy. "I am really sorry that things ended like that for you and Owen… I know you guys are still friends, but you loved each other so much. I am so sorry it ended the way it did," Maggie's shoulders shrunk as she took a breath before adding. "Actually, I am sorry it ended at all."

Amelia saw the honesty in her eyes. Maggie had always been supportive of her relationship with Owen. She had always been someone the neurosurgeon could count on. And just now, Maggie had been honest and opened her heart about something she was feeling insecure about. It was only fair that Amelia did the same.

She hadn't yet told neither Meredith nor Maggie about how she and Owen had been seeing each other again because despite how happy she felt, Amelia still didn't know what it all meant for them going forward. But maybe, she could find encouragement in Maggie's action and actually seek out advice and help. It was hard dealing with all those emotions on her own, and she couldn't really talk to Owen about it because being the object of her affection, he was directly involved. Maggie was someone who cared about her and Amelia felt comfortable sharing her feelings with, knowing she wasn't going to be judged.

"Yeah, about that…" Amelia bit her lower lip, anticipating her friend's reaction. She was sure Maggie would instantly support that new situation. "There is something I need to tell you."

.

"Jesus Christ!"

Amelia heard her own shouting voice and struggled to keep her water glass properly balanced on her hand at the same time Owen's laughter made her frown harder.

"I hate it when you do that," she complained.

Owen wasn't sure if she meant the way he'd sneakily surprised her from behind or the fact he'd just poked her belly, making Amelia nearly jump off her feet.

"That's why I keep doing it," the surgeon smiled at her, even more satisfied when he identified the adorable pout on her face.

"Why?" Amelia censored him. "It's not funny."

Owen wasn't going to admit it out loud, but he found it adorably cute when she took her hand to her racing heart and her cheeks got flushed whenever he scared her like that.

"I disagree," Owen unaffectedly replied and leaned over to kiss her, laughing when Amelia turned her head to the side in the last second, making him miss her lips by a quarter of an inch. "You're a real piece of work," he muttered with his mouth pressed against her cheek.

Amelia left her forgotten glass of water on the kitchen counter and placed her hands on his chest, fixing an inexistent wrinkle on his shirt as Owen playfully brushed his lips on the side of her face.

"I told Maggie about us today."

The comment was enough to make him break apart and look deeply into her eyes, studying them to see what that information really meant.

"I slept at Meredith's maybe twice in two weeks," Amelia pointed out. "There are only so many excuses I can make up to explain why I am gone nearly every night."

"Uh-huh," Owen agreed with a head nod, unsure of what kind of response she expected from him. He knew Amelia's relationships with Meredith and Maggie were important to her and didn't want to get in the middle of that, at the same time he was happy Amelia had acknowledged their relationship to someone who was obviously close to her. "What did Maggie say?"

"She actually came to me asking for relationship advice," Amelia loosely crossed her wrists around his neck and leaned back, feeling his arms do the same around her waist, keeping her near. "Can you believe that? I am a person who gives relationship advice," Amelia delighted him with a childish grin, keeping a lofty, superior look.

"I actually can't," Owen teased her, loving the way she scrunched up her nose in what should be an angry scowl, but was actually the cutest reaction.

"And to think that I actually said nice things about you to Maggie," Amelia retorted with a pretend serious voice.

"You did?" Owen raised an eyebrow, suddenly more interested in the conversation. Giving her a doubtful look, he asked, "and what nice things did you say, exactly?"

"I said that you are bossy and spoiled, and very often way too stubborn."

Owen laughed heartily at the absurdity of her accusations.

"And those were the compliments?" he played along, unable to contain the smile that was tugging at his lips.

"Those were the compliments," Amelia confirmed with fake superiority. "Don't get me started on the defects. You're not going to like it."

"You impertinent little brat," Owen pulled her closer, smiling widely. "You'd better show me a little more respect," he teased her.

"Because I'm your wife?" Amelia asked with curiosity when he kept looking into her eyes with an expression of utter happiness.

"Because you are much smaller," Owen playfully reminded her, only to be rewarded with the musical sound of her laughter.

Amelia narrowed her eyes, looking at him as if she was deeply offended.

"But I am much stronger," she decided.

"Absolutely," Owen laughed, unable to resist her any longer. Holding her face between his hands, he covered her lips on a kiss that started out sweet, but the moment Amelia took a step back bringing him with her, Owen held her in his arms, imprisoning her between his body and the kitchen counter.

"Do we have any couple things?" Amelia asked, interrupting him just as Owen was about to kiss her again.

"What?" he asked, opening his eyes at the same time he recovered his breath.

"I mean," Amelia bit her lower lip, unaware of how adorable she looked when she did that. "It's just that Maggie and I were talking today…"

"Oh, God, here we go," Owen interrupted her, playfully rolling his eyes.

"…And she mentioned that she loves it when she's with someone and after a while, there are these things that the other does that you don't notice unless you're in a relationship. Do you know what I mean?"

Owen really wanted to kiss her. But she seemed determined to have that conversation. Settling for delaying what he wanted to do to her rather than giving it up, the trauma surgeon breathed in before answering.

"I really don't."

Amelia's cheeks had a charming pinkish tone as she confessed.

"It's like when… I don't know..." she chuckled, nestling on his chest. "It's like when we're walking together to the parking lot and you always walk on the outside of the sidewalk," Amelia recalled, loving how protective Owen was of her.

"I didn't know I did that," Owen admitted, watching her face light up with a smile.

"Or when you're confused about something and you blink your eyes twice to think about it. It's very cute," she said, looking up to meet his eyes. Owen had the most adorable blonde eyelashes and she could never get enough of them.

Owen had not seen those sweet, loving confessions coming. He wasn't sure what touched him the most, the way she snuggled up next to his chest or the fact she'd noticed these details that he didn't know he did. Owen had to admit even though he'd desperately been waiting to take her to bed just minutes before, right now he was too delighted by how adorable she was. For the time being, Owen would happily settle for keeping her in his arms, feeling her warmth and the amazing smell of her hair. After a long day of work, there was nothing more comforting than that.

"I also mentioned that I love the fact you rarely complain when I stick my freezing feet under your legs whenever we're watching something on the couch," Amelia chuckled, looking up to be met by his adoring gaze. "Thank you for that, by the way."

Owen saw the loving expression in her eyes and the way she smiled at him melted his heart completely.

"My pleasure," he kissed the tip of her nose as she relaxed against his chest.

Owen definitely knew what she meant now. Hell, he could even make a long list about it.

Amelia was the most adorable human being Owen had ever met. And the most delightful part about it was that she didn't even try to be cute, she just naturally was.

Owen couldn't begin describing how heartwarming it was when they were in bed together and Amelia did this thing where she would blurt out something adorable and then feel awkward about it, resorting to hiding under the blankets right after. Or how she complained in her sleep whenever he removed his arm from underneath her. That could be particularly painful in the next morning since he would usually wake up with his arm numbed from the deprivation of blood flow throughout the night. But Owen thought it was worth every cramp.

He could also point out how much he loved Amelia's unfiltered nature. Or the way she would sarcastically make fun of herself and the things she wasn't very good at. Like that one time Owen was trying to teach her how to properly cook a roasted chicken and Amelia had burned the outside, leaving the inside absolutely raw. _I believe I am doing a great job_ had been her retort right before they'd laughed together and she'd grabbed her cell phone to order them takeout for dinner.

Owen loved it when he caught her doing something she wasn't very fond of, such as organizing a drawer, and she had this adorable heavy frown as if figuring out which method would be better to perform the task in the shortest amount of time possible.

He also loved it when she got out of bed in the morning and put on nothing but one of his shirts over her underwear. Once Owen had nagged her, asking how she could complain about how low he set the thermostat when she showed no inclinations to wearing clothes around the house. Amelia had refuted with _home is where the pants aren't_ and proceeded to go make them coffee, absolutely convincing him she had all the reason right there and then.

Amelia was possibly the only human being on the planet who could manage to look cute even when she was having a fit of hiccups. Owen smiled after recalling how she tried to hide it. He could also list as one of his favorites the moments she stood on the tip of her toes to reach for something placed on a higher shelf. Owen had to admit that he loved even the moments when he was distracted with something in the kitchen and she came from behind him, hugging him as if, from his six feet of height, he could possibly become the little spoon instead of her.

Sometimes, when they were in bed or on the couch watching a movie together, Amelia would yawn and rest her head on his chest before curling up next to him like a child clinging for comfort. In those moments, Owen would usually forget all about whatever they were watching, settling for focusing on her instead. Amelia's skin was always soft and smooth; her hair was constantly smelling like she'd just been out of the shower and her smile would dazzle Owen whenever he got home and found her already there, waiting for him.

Amelia would smile about nothing other than his presence.

In those moments, Owen felt like the luckiest guy in the world.

His only problem right now was that he wasn't nearly half as good as she was expressing those emotions. Amelia sounded and looked plain adorable whenever she did it. He, on the other hand, was particularly awful at confessions.

"You know what," Owen gently placed his hands on the curve of her waist, firmly keeping her near as he made his proposition. "I was thinking of taking a shower before I started making us dinner. But how about you get in the shower with me and we just eat whatever we have left in the fridge?"

"I could use a shower," Amelia played along, once again delighting him with her smile and her wit. "As you know, I am very dirty."

"I am sure you are," he embarked on her game. "Let me take care of that."

Amelia's happy giggles were suppressed by the kiss he stole right there and then. Once they were already inside the shower, Amelia delighted herself with the vision of his wide shoulders and strong chest, not shying away from exploring his body with her hands and her lips.

About an hour later, Amelia was feeling very tired already, even though it wasn't yet ten in the evening. She had been feeling quite exhausted lately, but she supposed it was to be expected after so many weeks of hard work and late nights devoted to Kimmie's case.

Her patient had been doing remarkably well and showed promising signs of recovery. It was yet too early to see which long-term outcome they would turn out to have, but Amelia was happy that for the time being, Kimmie was once again getting a taste of having a normal life.

Figuring she'd rather get busy with something or else she was likely to sleep on the couch, Amelia suggested she went to scrape together something for them to eat, giving Owen the chance to catch up with the latest sports news like she knew he'd been dying to do.

And just as he was turning the volume up to hear more details about a possible free agency player being hired to his football team, Owen heard a sharp shattering sound proceeded by a loud curse coming from the kitchen.

He rushed there to find Amelia crouched on the floor, carefully collecting the pieces of what was apparently a broken coffee mug.

"What are you doing?" Owen asked, his voice filled with concern. "Amelia, you're bleeding."

Amelia took her eyes off the scattered pieces on the floor and looked at her left hand, where a small laceration was causing a thick river of blood to run down her arm.

"It's nothing, it probably just hit a small vessel," she said with practicality, quickly wiping it clean and once again looking at the mess on the floor.

Owen got up and brought her with him, preventing her from collecting the mug pieces at the same time he gently captured her hand, compressing the cut with a clean dishtowel.

"What happened?"

"I am sorry," Amelia said, looking very distressed. "I was just trying to get the mug on the top shelf… I've made us hot chocolate to go with the sandwiches and I thought…"

"It's okay," Owen cut her short, frowning at how worked up she seemed about it. "Amelia, it's fine, it's just a mug, you don't have to be this upset about it," he reminded her. Owen was infinitely more worried about the nasty cut on her hand than with the broken item.

"Yeah, but it was your Harvard mug," she cried out.

Owen was touched by the reason behind her distress.

"If you like it so much, I will buy another one," he informed her with a smile, looking into her eyes.

Amelia's sniff gave place to a shy smile. That wasn't what she meant at all, and they both knew it. Owen had kept that one mug from his med school days and it probably had sentimental value. She knew it because Owen drank coffee in it every morning. Amelia had gotten it from the cabinet in the hopes to please him, but her effort had proven to be disastrous because not only she broke the object, she'd also hurt her hand in the process.

"I am sorry," she apologized again with sincerity, really grateful that Owen wasn't making her feel guilty about it.

"Come here," he gently pulled her closer, stepping back just enough to examine the wound in her hand. "Yeah, it doesn't look like it will need stitches," the relief was clear in his voice. The cut, although annoying, wasn't that deep.

"I don't know what happened, it just slipped from my hand and I-"

"Would it make you feel any better if I broke one of your mugs?" Owen interrupted her, loving to get her smile in return. "I can break two if you insist."

His teasing served the effort to make her mood improve.

"Okay," Amelia chuckled. The moment the object had slipped from her grasp, she could swear she felt a little lightheaded, but it had probably been just an impression.

"Now, how about you keep this bandage on your hand," Owen proposed with a smile, grabbing the sandwiches she'd made and placing them on a large plate. "And we will share your hot chocolate," he found a solution, pouring the content in a thermos bottle instead of getting another mug.

"You go ahead, I still have to pick up the pieces," Amelia reminded him, using her right hand to hold the compressing towel on her wound.

Owen replied by getting the task done and cleaning up the floor in less than a minute.

"Thank you," Amelia sighed, censoring herself for the mess she'd invariably created.

"Thank me with a kiss," Owen smiled, leaning in to steal one from her lips as he grabbed their meal and followed her to the living room.

After they ate, Amelia made herself comfortable on the couch by lying with her head on Owen's lap and pulling a comfortable blanket over her body. Owen had put on a new TV show they had been meaning to watch together and even though the plot was really interesting, Amelia's thoughts were far from the events happening on screen.

As Owen finger's lazily caressed her hair, Amelia kept busy snuggling his hand between hers, like she'd often come to do. She didn't know why, but over the course of the last week, her own response to situations had been alarming her.

Amelia had tried not to give it much importance, thinking she was seeing too much into things but truth was, she was feeling rather sensitive lately. Her emotions were shifting faster than they had after she'd been out of surgery and the realization was distressing enough. A couple of times at work during the week, she'd felt like crying for reasons that normally wouldn't bother her that much.

Like for example breaking Owen's mug.

Amelia wasn't quite sure what had clogged her throat and filled her eyes with tears just minutes before, the fact she'd broken something she knew was special to him or the fact he hadn't given much importance to it, obviously because he didn't want her to be upset.

"Oh, wow, I really didn't think they'd go there," Owen's voice interrupted her thoughts, bringing Amelia's attention back to the developments on the television.

She looked up and saw the main characters of the show entering a dark house. The unknown was really scary and at that moment, Amelia could absolutely relate. A lot of questions were beginning to assault her head, no matter how much she hoped to avoid them. And just as Amelia tried to relax, hoping to embark on a restoring sleep, her mind started to fill with doubts about how much exactly she should worry about that uncomfortably familiar emotional lability, considering it could very possibly be a symptom of her brain tumor growing back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Maybe This Time – Part 7**

Amelia opened the front door with a loud thud, trying to ignore how sore her muscles felt. Earlier that week, she'd come to think that her emotions being apparently out of control again could indicate a recurrence of her brain tumor, but the main concern on her mind at the moment was making sure that nasty cold she'd obviously gotten didn't get much worse than it already was.

During the entire day, Amelia had pushed through and she had to be honest and admit she looked forward to having a free weekend. A comfortable bed was the only thing she craved at that moment. The neurosurgeon was absolutely sure that after a good night of sleep, she would be restored, which meant there was no point worrying anyone. So when Owen had called her earlier that afternoon to inform her he'd be working late to cover the ER, he'd invariably provided her with a reason not to go to his place that evening, but rather to Meredith's.

"Amelia, are you okay?"

Maggie's voice distracted Amelia from her thoughts, making her realize she'd just spent the past few seconds unable to gather enough force even to lock the front door.

"Yeah," she lied.

The hoarseness in her voice added to the dark circles around her eyes gave away her lie. But it wasn't until she coughed that Meredith stepped into the conversation, looking at the neurosurgeon as if Amelia was a contagious threat.

"You really shouldn't be standing there, Amelia, you look like you're going to faint. Go to bed. And please, just make sure you don't get anywhere near the children," the general surgeon added with her typical lack of sympathy. "The last thing we need is for them to catch whatever plague you have."

"Thanks," Amelia replied, more bitterly than she would have liked. The neurosurgeon then glanced over at Maggie, seeing she was dressed in her work clothes and looked ready to leave the house.

"Maybe I can get someone to cover for me so I can stay with you," Maggie suggested. Amelia really did not look fine and she was growing worried.

"Don't worry about it, Maggie, I am fine," Amelia insisted, making an extra effort to keep her confidence as she walked to the stairs but a sudden fit of lightheadedness nearly made her nearly lose balance. "You go to work, I will be fine. I just need some rest."

"You sure?" Maggie squinted, visibly uncomfortable to leave Amelia in those circumstances in the company only of Meredith and three young children.

"Yeah, I will go take some aspirin and lie down," Amelia forced herself to smile and made a herculean effort to climb the stairs.

Her legs felt as if they weighed twice their usual load and her head was bursting with a throbbing headache. Amelia didn't know how, but she still managed to get a quick, hot shower before finally collapsing in bed with an empty stomach.

.

Owen got out of the attending's lounge bathroom feeling reinvigorated. After a nasty trauma case in which a ruptured artery had soaked him in patient's blood, he had finally had the time to go clean up and change.

He was still finishing drying his head with a towel, feeling readier than ever to go home when a short woman ran into him.

"Hey, Maggie."

"Owen," Pierce's voice sounded distressed. There was no one else in the room, so she had obviously gone inside with the intention of finding him. Owen found the notion rather puzzling, considering he and Maggie hardly ever had any topic in common. Unless she wanted to talk to him about a patient. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, are you going home?" she asked and the trace of insecurity in her voice didn't go unnoticed to Owen.

"I am, but I can stick around for a while if you need me for a consult or…"

"No, this is actually about Amelia," Maggie explained, enlightening Owen about the reason for her restlessness.

"What's wrong?" Owen asked with a heavy frown, immediately concerned. "What happened?"

"I left the house a while ago just as she arrived from work a couple of hours ago," Maggie explained. "She didn't look so fine to me, I think she has a cold or something," the thoracic surgeon added, seeing the relief on Owen's face when she explained it wasn't anything serious. "But she isn't picking up her phone or replying my messages and I am not sure she is fit to take care of herself. You know Amelia…" Maggie hesitated. "I was just wondering if you could…"

"I'll stop by to check on her," Owen answered before Maggie could even ask.

Both surgeons exchange a head nod of gratitude and mutual understanding. Satisfied with herself and relieved that her stubborn friend was now probably not going to escape properly taking care of herself, Maggie left the room, ready to resume work. Determined to make sure Amelia was fine, or at least as fine as it could be, Owen hung the wet towel back on the bathroom rack, not bothering changing back to his street clothes before he left the hospital.

.

Amelia was still oscillating between sleep and conscience when three gentle knocks made her open her eyes. Assuming it was Meredith, she rolled over with her back opposite to the door and mumbled, irritated:

"Go away."

Amelia had already closed her eyes again, oblivious to the tall figure that had entered the room engulfed in darkness. It wasn't until Owen gently lay next to her making Amelia's body shift with his weight on the mattress that she finally took notice of his presence.

"I have to say, that's not the welcome I expected," his deep voice sounded like music to her ears. "But if you want me to, I can leave."

"No!" Amelia growled, immediately regretting having said such unwelcoming words. She made the effort to turn around in his direction and pull his shirt, stopping Owen from getting up, but that only served to cause another fit of heavy coughing. Too embarrassed, both by her pitiful state and by the nasty way she'd retorted when she yet didn't know it was him, Amelia buried her face on the crook of his neck, unconsciously seeking comfort. "I didn't mean you," she explained as soon as she was able to breathe properly again.

Her skin felt hot to his touch, even a little feverish, Owen noticed. He pulled apart just enough to look at her. At this point, Owen's eyes had already adjusted to the nearly total darkness, so he could identify the indisposed expression on her face. Amelia looked drained. Her voice was merely a whisper, her eyes were swollen and puffy and even her nose looked like it had suffered enough with a lot of itching and sneezing.

"Did you take something to alleviate the symptoms?" he asked, kissing her forehead before gently pulling a few loose locks of hair from her face and smoothing them on the back of her shoulders. There was no magical cure for a common cold but bed rest, hydration and a couple of pills would probably help her feel better a lot faster.

Amelia nodded her head positively but Owen had a feeling she was lying.

"I swear you're worse than a kid when you're sick," he commented, trying to come off strict but the trace of amusement was clear in his voice. "Come on," Owen added with as much kindness as determination. "Let's get you home."

Amelia wasn't feeling strong enough to refute him, but even if she were, she probably wouldn't. The way Owen had deliberately implied he was taking her home had made her feel looked after, taken care of. At this point, she knew there was no one better than him at that, but it still made Amelia feel uneasy to let go completely and surrender to the very inviting idea of jumping in with both feet in their newly rediscovered relationship, considering they still had a lot to talk about regarding what they wanted and expected moving forward.

Amelia loved him. She had no doubt about that. Just as she knew Owen loved her back the same. But even though they had been clear about their mutual feelings, she had no idea if he was still willing to be a family with her. In fact, she had no idea where _she_ stood on the matter.

Amelia could very well close her eyes and picture herself and Owen surrounded by children of their own in a few years time. On the long run, the idea seemed amazing, idyllic even. But truth was, in order to get there, she knew there was a lot she needed to deal with and Amelia just wasn't sure when exactly she would be able to work on that.

And it was exactly her incapability of providing Owen – and herself – with an answer for those lingering questions that set her off the most.

Because if they decided to be together for real and pick up where they'd left off, it wasn't fair to Owen that he stayed in a marriage where she knew she wanted to give him kids, but had no idea if she'd ever be able to. Just as it wasn't fair to her to live with that lingering pressure hovering over her head. That was definitely something they would have to talk about at some point and Amelia had a feeling they couldn't keep delaying it much longer.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Owen asked as he helped Amelia get up. He'd noticed the subtle changes in her expression as her eyebrows furrowed as if she was having a hard time making up her mind about something.

"It's nothing, it's just… My throat is a little sore, that's all," Amelia smiled at him at the same time she placed a hand on his cheek and affectionately rubbed it, touched by his concern.

Owen looked into her eyes at the same time he grabbed her slim wrist, giving her a kiss on the palm of her hand before pulling away.

"Stay right there, I will get an overnight bag for you. I think there are some of your clothes back at the house but we are yet to wash them."

Amelia drew an excessively steadying breath, clearly mocking him.

"I really have to go for the whole weekend, don't I?" she joked, sending him a flirtatious glance even though she felt awful. "You can barely manage to do your own laundry."

"You've always been better at it than me," Owen joked, turning on the lights in the bedroom to then grab a small duffel bag and opened Amelia's closet.

"Why are you wearing scrubs?" Amelia asked with a puzzled expression, for the first time noticing it.

Owen suddenly remembered about the literal bloodbath he'd taken.

"Don't ask," he chuckled. "I will tell you that story later," he settled for saying, focusing back on the shelves.

Owen gazed at the many pieces and frowned, wondering why on Earth had he ever thought of himself fit for the task of preparing an overnight bag, considering how little he knew about women's clothes. With a shrug of shoulders, he grabbed a handful of the items on top, sorting out the ones he assumed were most comfortable.

Did people really fit in that size of clothes, he pondered, after grabbing what he discovered was a dark green low cut women's tank top. Judging by the label, Amelia dressed a size _S_ , but was that _really_ an adult size? Owen was surprised at himself that he wasn't sure. From now on, he was probably going to have to start paying more attention to these things.

After he'd covered tops, Owen moved onto bottoms, grabbing a few pajama pants and leggings from the hangers inside the closet. At last, he aimed for the small sliding drawers, figuring she'd probably need underwear too.

Amelia had just finished finally getting out of bed and was changing from her pajamas to a pair of dark fleece pants when she spotted Owen with the silliest look on his face.

"What are you doing?" she chuckled, watching as he grabbed a couple of her panties and added them to a bag.

"How come I never saw this before?" he picked out a red lacy piece of lingerie from the top drawer and exposed it to her, looking at Amelia as if he was personally offended for not having seen it.

Once again, Amelia's delightful laughter mixed with a fit of coughing and sneezing.

"Maybe you just haven't been paying enough attention," she teased him.

"I very much doubt I'd miss _this_ ," he said, pointing to the seductive object with his eyes. Owen could vividly imagine Amelia dressed in nothing but the sexy red lingerie, her white porcelain skin fiercely contrasting with the vibrant color as she moved on top of him, driving him crazy as… Well, he doubted he'd ever overlooked that. "When you're feeling better, you owe it to me to put this on."

"I'll think about," Amelia tried to keep a serious face but couldn't hold her laughter. "What are you doing?" she repeated her question after noticing he had no intention of returning the piece of lingerie back to the drawer.

"Let's take this with us, just in case," Owen decided, adding the item to the overnight bag. Amelia smiled at him as she nodded her head in playful disapproval. The neurosurgeon was still busy changing her clothes, enough that she missed the exact moment when Owen finally closed her drawer.

But as he did so, something golden and shiny glimpsed with the movement, catching his attention. Intrigued by it, Owen pulled back the drawer just enough so he could see what it was.

There amidst Amelia's most intimate belongings, he found the wedding band that had once been on his finger. Owen couldn't quite figure out why, but the unexpected finding caught him completely off guard, giving him a mix of emotions he struggled to identify.

"Are you done playing with my panties or have you made a new stop at the bras?" Amelia joked, distracting him from his thoughts.

Owen turned his head over his shoulder, gazing at her with newfound affection and tenderness.

"I had totally forgotten about the bras," he admitted, taking a step in her direction, unable to resist the urge to plant a kiss on the top of her head. "You women have way too many different pieces of clothes."

"So, you're saying you think I should wear fewer clothes?" Amelia laughed, raising her eyebrows in indication she felt otherwise.

"That's exactly what I am saying," Owen played along, touching his forehead to hers. "But only when it's you and me, of course."

"Of course," Amelia rolled her eyes. "So it's a private show?" she embarked on his silly game.

"The leads are you and that little red thingie," Owen smiled shamelessly.

"Classy," Amelia couldn't contain her smile. "You don't even know what it's called."

"I don't need to know what it's called," Owen pointed out, his eyes sparkling with desire and affection. "I only need to see _you_ in it," he informed her with a mischievous grin. "You're ready to go?" he asked, grabbing the duffel bag and helping her put on a jacket.

"Yes, I am ready," Amelia smiled at him. It was nearly eleven pm on a Friday night and she was sick. Her body was sore, her throat was hurting and her head was throbbing but after being confronted with the prospect of not spending the evening alone in that bed anymore, but rather with Owen, enjoying his care and his company, she suddenly felt her disposition vastly improve.

"Let's go, then," he decided, opening the door before linking their hands as he led the way for them.

.

"Open up for a happy pill."

Amelia unburied her face from the pillow, which was a sacrifice in itself, and opened her eyes to glare at Owen just as she did that.

"Back in the day, _happy pill_ meant something else entirely."

Owen chose to ignore her wicked smile and the obvious reference to her addiction, but when their eyes met, he couldn't help smiling at how unbelievable she was. Once again handing over the ibuprofen tablet, he made another attempt:

"Don't bite me," Owen tilted his head slightly to the left, obviously making fun of her. "Take this."

"I _should_ bite you," Amelia whispered because at this point it hurt too much to speak.

"You can barely form a sentence," Owen reminded her, seeing that after the short drive from Meredith's to his house, she seemed in even worse shape. "Take your medicine so your throat will feel better and you can eat something."

"Are you going to stop giving me orders at any point?" Amelia rolled her eyes but did as told, reaching out for the pill and the glass of water he held.

"I will think about it," Owen replied in a lighthearted tone, waiting until she was done with the medication to get back the empty glass of water. Amelia leaned back on the bed again, too tired to remain sitting up. "What do you want to eat? A sandwich or a-?"

"I am good, I think I am just going to go to sleep," Amelia said, feeling drowsy.

"Not on an empty stomach," Owen said, again with authority.

Amelia was too exhausted to fight him, so she settled for eating a sandwich he quickly prepared. At that moment, she didn't know any better, so she simply assumed her nausea had everything to do with the annoying cold she had on.

Throughout the weekend, Amelia did nothing other than to enjoy Owen's company. He spent the entire Saturday at home with her and most of Sunday too, leaving only for a couple of hours to go cover a colleague at work. When he returned, Owen came back with takeout from her favorite restaurant.

At this point, Amelia's throat was feeling a lot better, same as her respiratory symptoms, but for some reason, her stomach was still struggling to hold anything down. At that particular moment, it didn't feel weird to Amelia that she didn't feel too excited about eating seafood, her usual favorite dish. Supposing her bothered stomach was probably a lingering trace of her viral infection, the neurosurgeon pushed through, eating a small portion mostly to please Owen than because she really felt like it.

Amelia didn't let him know that she wasn't feeling exactly hungry, just as she was trying her best to conceal the confusion she felt regarding her own emotions. For a few punctual moments throughout the weekend, she thought about talking to him and exposing her fears about that growing sentiment she had and wouldn't pass. Something just felt _different_ and even though rationally she knew it was unlikely and even absurd that her tumor might be growing back, Amelia just couldn't convince herself that things were okay.

"What do you have there?" Owen asked when he came back from the kitchen after doing their dinner dishes.

Amelia was sitting on the couch in the living room with her feet propped up and crossed at the ankles. Her forehead had a heavy frown as she studied something on an iPad. As he came nearer, Owen noticed she was looking at a patient's scans.

"Anything interesting?" he asked with curiosity. Amelia had spent the whole weekend without mentioning work once. Unless someone had contacted her about a case while he'd been busy in the kitchen, it didn't make sense that she would randomly choose a Sunday night to study a file.

The neurosurgeon stopped looking at the screen when Owen sat beside her. She seemed to struggle for a while, but when Owen finally made himself comfortable, she finally took a long breath before saying.

"These are my scans."

Owen assimilated the information, pondering what he should do with it. He looked at the files in her hands and checked the dates, frowning harder. According to the small letters on the screen, those scans were dated six weeks after Amelia's surgery. Neuro wasn't his field of study, but they looked alright to him.

"Hmm, these are your control scans, right?" he raised an eyebrow conspicuously as he gazed back and forth from the small screen to his wife, seeing she was nodding in agreement. "What is so interesting about them?"

Amelia made eye contact with him and Owen noticed how deeply she was staring at him. The realization alarmed him.

"I am trying to see if they are as clear as I thought."

After a few seconds of carefully processing the meaning of her words, Owen scowled as if she was saying nonsense.

"If they're as clear as…? What are you saying, of course they are."

Then, as if Amelia needed factual proof, Owen took the iPad from her hands and zoomed in on the image, focusing on her frontal lobe. Weeks after the surgery, all the swelling had gone down. The only thing visible was the bone and soft tissue scars from the craniotomy, but her brain mass looked absolutely normal.

"Amelia, you had an encapsulated benign tumor which was completely removed," he reminded her, frowning hard. Owen was sure she knew that better than he did. "You made a full recovery. Why would you for a second have any doubt that your scans aren't as clear as you and your surgeon saw they were back then?"

Amelia felt tears building up on the back of her eyes at that exact moment. Damn it, why did she have to feel such an emotional mess all the time? That was it, she thought. She couldn't hide it anymore. She couldn't keep that to herself. It was consuming her too much and she had to share it with someone she knew wouldn't judge or call her crazy for it.

"I don't know what's happening to me," she confessed, biting her lower lip to prevent herself from breaking down in tears. "In one moment, when I am happy, I feel like I am the happiest. And then on the next, when I am sad, even if it's for a silly reason, sometimes I feel like I could cry. But it's not this black and white, you see, it's subtler than that, I can't explain it…" she sniffed, leaning over him seeking comfort. Owen wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, encouraging her to talk more. "I feel like I don't have as much control of my emotions as I did when I started recovering from my surgery. Even though I was confused, I knew I got a hold of myself. And now… I don't know… I can't explain it," she felt the first tear rolling down her cheek.

"Try," Owen suggested, gently wiping it from her cheek with his forefinger.

"It isn't like when I had the tumor, I think," she said with sincerity. "Back then, I was completely out of control and couldn't understand why I acted so impulsively. It was like I just did things and then I felt guilty that I'd done them but couldn't understand why I'd felt the urge to do them…" Amelia took a long breath, trying to process her own emotions. "Now, I feel like I can control my impulses, so that is _not_ the issue, but I just feel like things that wouldn't normally make me want to cry now kind of do… And the closest thing I've ever experienced that feels like that is that goddamn brain tumor… so I freaked out and I just got this insane idea in my head that somehow it could have grown back, even though I know that medically speaking it makes no sense. Does _that_ make any sense?"

Owen blinked repeatedly, trying to keep up with her fast speech. He settled for tightening his grip around her and planting a kiss on her temple.

"You're fine, Amelia. I can tell you, you're fine," he assured her. "You know, for the past year when you were sick, you weren't acting like yourself," Owen informed her with a sad smile. He didn't want to reminisce about that because it was painful, but luckily, it was in the past. They had already gone through those feelings and apologize for the harm they'd invariably caused, even though none of them had meant to. "We've been together for weeks now and not once you've given me any reason to believe you're slightly different."

Amelia closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as she fully absorbed the meaning of his words. It felt like they had just taken a huge load off her back.

"God…" she sighed, feeling more relieved than she'd felt in days. Amelia laughed a little nervously, but only because she had never imagined how good it would do her to have that conversation with Owen. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear this…"

"How long have you been keeping this to yourself?" Owen asked with a censoring look at the same time his eyes were loaded with warmth.

"Too long," Amelia confessed. "I know it's probably crazy but… Do you think it would be too much if I got a new scan tomorrow, just in case?" she bit her lower lip, desperately in need of comprehension. "I know the new one isn't scheduled for another few months but I just…"

"You probably won't find anything in it but if it's going to help you end this agonizing doubt once for all, then do it," Owen said with an understanding smile.

Amelia let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding and hugged him again, settling for spending the rest of the evening in his arms. There was something too comfortable and too secure about the way Owen held her that made Amelia think she wouldn't be safer anywhere else. She should have gone to him sooner, she realized. The first moment that doubt had arisen, Amelia should have gone to him and shared her concerns. It was incredibly helpful to talk to someone who understood her because it really put things in a whole new perspective.

Feeling much calmer now, Amelia slowly dozed off, thankful not only for the heavy burden that had been taken off her shoulders and the cold symptoms that were almost gone now but mostly for the amazing man holding her in his arms.

.

On Monday, before she went to her department to start her activities at work, Amelia took the elevator straight to radiology. Owen had wanted to come with her but she had to repeatedly assure him there was absolutely no need to, considering they were both sure the scan would turn out to be negative.

After filling out a request for her own test, Amelia waited to be squeezed in the electives of the day and then she sat outside the MRI waiting area. A few minutes later, the neurosurgeon was given the standard form that every patient needed to fill out before being submitted to the exam, one that she'd filled out too many times before.

Amelia knew that unlike a CT, which contained radiation, an MRI machine worked with high magnetic fields, which could be hazardous for some kind of implantable devices, hence why everyone had to answer questions before it. As she crossed off the checkboxes with multiple questions about pacemakers, surgical history and medical diseases, her eyes distractedly scanned the familiar questions, automatically filling each one of them.

But it wasn't until Amelia reached half the page that she suddenly furrowed her brows.

 _For female patients._

 _13\. Date of last menstrual period._

 _14\. Are you pregnant or is there any chance you could be pregnant?_

 _15\. Are you experiencing a late menstrual period?_

More questions followed, but those were enough to make Amelia stop at her tracks and really feel her heart racing in a response that had nothing to do with the possibility of having a brain tumor.

 _Date of last menstrual period._

God, she couldn't remember. It had probably been a couple of months ago? Amelia's cycle was usually very reliable but ever since her tumor and the response her body had had to the trauma of surgery that had temporarily changed and she'd lost track. So she really didn't remember.

 _Are you pregnant or is there any chance you could be pregnant?_

No. There wasn't, right? Or… Well…

Amelia felt her heart racing even faster. Before their marriage, she and Owen had never really worried much about contraception because she'd had an IUD, which she'd gotten removed right after they'd decided to start trying for a baby. So basically, throughout their entire relationship, they had gotten used to having sex without having to worry about consequences. Right when the possibility of conception had become their goal, their marriage had collapsed, causing them to stop trying at all. But later, when they'd rekindled their romance, none of them had really stopped to reconsider that _small_ detail, Amelia realized.

 _Oh God_ , she breathed out heavily. How could she have been so blind? She, who had always been so absolutely careful about contraception, especially after her first pregnancy?

Her palms were sweaty, her mouth dry and her vision became slightly blurry but Amelia forced herself to concentrate.

Could it be that, deep down, Amelia had sabotaged herself, she pondered? It was really hard to fathom that she would simply obliterate such an important detail like avoiding a pregnancy. And yet it had been exactly what had happened.

Perhaps if it had been anyone else, Amelia wouldn't have done it. But Owen had his own special way of making Amelia feel so safe and looked after that maybe she had involuntarily risked it? Because deep down, she wanted it just as much as she knew he did and knew that if she'd simply waited for the right moment it might never come?

No, that didn't make any sense, she thought.

Amelia dropped the form on the empty chair beside her and propped her elbows on her knees, burying her face in her hands. Her mind was boiling with a million thoughts per second. Her emotions were mixing and she only managed to get up and get herself together when she realized that she didn't _know_ if she was pregnant. The fact she had had unprotected sex did not mean she _was_ pregnant.

Sure, she was experiencing some symptoms. But to go and say that a pregnancy was causing them was nearly as crazy as to say that a tumor was causing them… right?

But between and tumor and pregnancy…

Amelia was just getting cured of a cold. Surely that explained why she'd been relatively nauseous for the past week. It still didn't explain why her emotions seemed to be shifting with more ease than ever, but still, that could be just an impression.

With a heavy sigh, Amelia cast those thoughts aside. She had to be practical. She had gone there to get a brain MRI to exclude the unlikely possibility of a brain tumor recurrence. She would get it. First things first.

But as she processed the situation and finished filling out her forms, proceeding to change her clothes to a patient gown to then be escorted to the exam room later, Amelia's mind couldn't help reminiscing.

 _Are you experiencing a late menstrual period?_

As she lay on the table having her head positioned for the exam, Amelia tried not to panic thinking about the answer to that question.

Yes. Yes, she was experiencing a late menstrual period. In fact, considering all the craziness of post-surgical mayhem added to the effects the stress had had on her body, after a quick math she could assume her period was a couple of weeks late.

Even though the exam didn't take more than fifteen minutes, for Amelia, it felt like two hours. Her palms were still sweaty and her heart rate accelerated when she went behind the computer screen to check the images. They were clear, as expected, but they weren't the ones causing her fit of anxiety. Not anymore.

As she strode through the halls as if her own feet were guiding her, Amelia suddenly found herself in the ER floor, instead of the surgical wing. The neurosurgeon swallowed hard, trying to concentrate on what she had to do.

A tall, blonde man with broad shoulders and the most dazzling masculine smile was just laughing at something one of the residents had said when she took a few steps in his direction. But the lightheartedness quickly vanished from Owen's face when he noticed the serious look on Amelia's face as she walked in his direction.

Suddenly connecting her sudden appearance in the ER and mysterious expression to the result of the MRI he assumed she'd just had, Owen couldn't help himself.

"What is it?" he asked, interrupting the residents, who all stopped talking all at once. "What happened?"

Amelia stopped at her feet, uncomfortable by the presence of the three virtual strangers who looked from Owen to her with a mix of apprehension and expectancy in their eyes. It was obvious her husband had just been teaching them something, but at that moment, she was too alarmed to care about the interruption.

"Can you come with me?"

Owen didn't answer with words, instead, he followed her to the nearest empty exam room and closed the door after them. Amelia noticed the alarm on his face and instantly picked up on his assumption.

"My MRI is clean. It's all good."

The relief was visible on his face but only for a moment, since it was instantly replaced by a confused expression. Amelia kept staring at him, wanting to explain, but she had no idea where to start.

She needed to find out the truth soon. And this time around, for this particular exam, Amelia definitely needed Owen beside her as she waited for the results.

"Owen…" she took a step forward and reached out for his hands, squeezing them both to give and get reassurance. There was a big chance they might be in for the wildest ride of their lives and Amelia had feared that moment for far too long because she knew better than anybody just how wrong it could go. And that was exactly why she needed so much to know she could rely on him for whatever might come next. "I think I might be pregnant."


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you guys for the feedback and for sticking with the through this story! Here goes the last installment!

 **Maybe This Time – Part 8**

" _I think I might be pregnant."_

"Owen, this is the part where you say something," Amelia tried to get him to speak after long seconds of silence.

But Owen looked like he was in shock. He kept staring at her frozen in time, unable to fully process the meaning of the news she'd just unexpectedly dropped.

Unbeknownst to her, Owen was trying to contain a nearly instinctive reaction of smiling and celebrating the news. He'd wanted for that to happen so badly and yet had been in that position so many times before only to ultimately be let down that he didn't allow himself to rejoice in it just yet.

When his ex-wife had given him similar news, years before, Owen had been naïve enough to believe that his heart's biggest desire might actually come true. The series of events that had happened after had only served to remind him in the cruelest way that sometimes, life could be taken before it was even given a chance. He'd learned to mourn the loss of someone he'd never even got the chance to meet. And then years later, when he and Amelia had revisited the idea of parenthood, at first he'd been thrilled. Owen could remember all the details of the evening he'd gotten home and found her waiting for him with a pregnancy test. Back then, the trauma surgeon had kept his expectations high because he'd really believed that Amelia wanted it as much as he did. When the test turned out to be negative, Owen had taken her introversion as disappointment and had tried to console her, pointing out that they had just started trying and would have many chances to actually conceive a baby.

But then Amelia had unexpectedly changed her mind about the topic and left home, making him wonder how much she'd meant what she'd said in the few times they'd discussed becoming parents. From there on, their marriage had fallen apart, culminating with the discovery of her tumor. Little by little, they had been able to pick up most pieces. But up until that day, they hadn't yet the discussed the idea of children. Owen had no idea where Amelia stood in it. Deep down, he knew he'd never truly give up on it, but the trauma surgeon had long ago told himself that he simply must learn to move on with his life and be happy even if he never got to be a dad because the possibility of that never happening was actually the likeliest one.

Owen knew Amelia was probably just as confused as he was about the news she'd just shared. Just as he knew her sudden change of heart about having a baby during a time they were together had probably been equally hard for her to understand. The details of her past remained blurry to him, but he was aware his wife had lost a son once. And while Owen was very good at obliterating his feelings, he wasn't foolish enough to think that a person could come out of a situation like that and not have any scars. He supposed Amelia's fears and hesitations had everything to do with the trauma of her past.

"Are you okay?" he gently tilted his head to the side, looking at her with concerned eyes.

Amelia couldn't quite tell why, but she felt her heart sinking inside her chest.

"I… I don't know," she confessed with honesty.

"When did you find out?" Owen asked, gently reaching out to touch her so he could help Amelia sit on the patient's gurney inside the room. Once she was properly settled, he pulled a metal stool and sat in front of her, not letting go of her hand.

"I just considered the possibility as I was filling out the form for the MRI scan. I realized it makes perfect sense," Amelia confessed, feeling more anxious than when she'd first walked into that room. Owen's reaction wasn't anything like she'd anticipated and she couldn't even tell why, because she didn't know what she expected in the first place. "I didn't confirm it yet."

Owen instantly picked up on the fact she'd immediately come to him when she'd confronted the notion and that made him feel slightly better about the whole thing. But still, he didn't dare to make anything out of the situation just yet.

"Do you want to find out for sure?" he asked, looking into her eyes.

Amelia was grateful for his obvious concern and for the way he was caring about her. She didn't expect any less. But at the same time, the way Owen was keeping his distance was unnerving and very distressing.

The neurosurgeon narrowed her eyes, trying to understand him. It was hard to make sense of what he was feeling when she couldn't figure out her own response to the situation. Was it possible that she was disappointed?

Was it possible that _he_ was?

Owen had always wanted a child… Amelia had no idea how she felt about the entire thing but from the short trip from the radiology department to the ER, a thousand questions had run through her head. She had several doubts. But only one certainty: Owen would be thrilled.

She had been so sure of that that it was absolutely distressing to face his current reaction. Owen wasn't indifferent. He was definitely apprehensive, so there had to be something there. But he hadn't expressed any personal thought or emotion about the news she'd just shared and the slightest possibility that he might not be absolutely delighted with it made Amelia more agitated than she considered she could be.

Up until now, she hadn't allowed herself to break down and be terrified for the single reason of having Owen there. They had talked and made up and realized that they loved each other and wanted to be together. No one was better at being there for her than he was. Amelia wasn't sure if she was ready to face her fears with a new pregnancy but if a baby was already conceived, then there was no other alternative. And the only thing that kept her sane at that moment was to know she could lean on Owen.

But if he wasn't fully on board with the idea then…

"Amelia?" Owen rubbed his thumb on her hand, trying to get her back from her thoughts. "I asked if you want to go to the lab? Or I can draw your blood here if you want?" he proposed. "Or if you want something less invasive we can try a urine test? What do you think?"

Amelia bit her lower lip. She didn't know. She had no idea.

Why wasn't he happy about this? Why wasn't he thrilled and laughing and telling her everything was going to be okay, all the while making plans for them? That's the only thing she expected… It was all she could think about at the moment.

"How far along do you think you should be?" Owen asked, realizing this time around it was her that seemed lost and shocked.

"I don't know," Amelia breathed in and out, trying to remain calm, but her distress became more obvious. "I don't know, Owen, I don't…"

"Shhh, it's okay, calm down," Owen got up and gently wrapped her in his arms, watching as Amelia buried her face in his chest and sniffed. She was obviously tense and he wished he knew more about how she felt so he could help her. But Owen really hoped this wasn't another situation where he would have to convince the woman he loved to keep his baby. Because no matter how much he loved Amelia, if she really was expecting his child and decided not to take it forward, Owen didn't have it in him to comfort her for the pain of making that decision.

Swallowing hard, he asked the universe for strength and straightened himself up, trying to remain as rational as possible. It just didn't make sense… Everything he knew about Amelia and her personality, how caring and maternal she was… Owen knew the trauma of losing a child could shape a person, but he still couldn't see her as someone who would reject a baby just because she feared losing them. It just didn't _make any sense_.

"Amelia, look, I know you're in way over your head right now," he pulled apart just enough to look into her eyes, seeing they were sparkling with tears she stubbornly refused to shed. "But we need to know for sure, ok? We need to know for sure so we'll know what we're dealing with here," he added, mistaking her pain for fear of actually being pregnant.

Amelia nodded affirmatively with her head, wiping her eyes as she listened to what he was proposing.

"We don't have to go anywhere just yet," Owen pointed with his eyes to a portable ultrasound machine inside the exam room. "Do you want to find out? We can do it here. Together."

Amelia looked at the machine and then at him, unconsciously holding her breath. God, that was scary. It just felt so soon… But at the same time, it could be good to end that agonizing doubt if they could.

The neurosurgeon took a few seconds of hesitation, finally agreeing to his suggestion with a shy nod.

Owen tried not to think of what it would mean for them if she were indeed pregnant – or if she wasn't – and kissed her head quickly before getting up to go get the machine. As he pulled the object towards them, Amelia lay on the table, awkwardly untying the knot on her scrub pants and slowly pulling it down to her underwear level at the same time she pulled up her top.

"You ready?" Owen asked, holding the transducer with one hand. When Amelia met his eyes and slightly nodded, he applied gel on her lower abdomen, unconsciously holding his breath too.

He had no idea what the result of that exam would mean for the two of them, both individually and as a couple. Owen didn't realize his usually steady hand was having a hard time staying still so he could freeze a perfect image window. He couldn't really focus on anything because just as he'd identified Amelia's bladder, he was also able to find her uterus and the minuscule image that kept coming in and out of the screen as he moved the probe.

Amelia had thought about not looking at the screen, too scared about what she might find, but she simply had to know. As Owen ran the exam, she found herself in the position of a mere spectator, watching the images going in and out of the screen as she frantically moved her eyes, trying to make sense of anything.

It seemed very obvious what that little white image in amidst all that black meant.

A growing seed of hope? A better future?

But it was too good to be true.

Amelia had to know. She couldn't live with the agonizing doubt any longer.

"Is that… Is that a baby?" she asked, at last breaking the heavy silence in the room.

When Owen turned his face from the screen to look at her, Amelia noticed how wet his eyes were. Long gone was his resolve to remain neutral to that situation. Owen had finally reached his limit and he couldn't contain himself anymore.

"That's our baby," Owen answered with a whisper, looking into her eyes. When Amelia met his gaze, the intensity of the situation caught up with her and she was instantly overwhelmed.

Her silence alarmed him and Owen felt more anxious than he'd felt in a lifetime. Seeing that tiny image on the screen had messed more with his emotions than he ever imagined it would. His heart was bursting with joy and love and hope but he had no idea what to do with all of those because his fate – and the baby's – depended entirely on Amelia's reading of the situation and he wasn't sure he could cope if the truth was that she wasn't nearly as enchanted with that discovery and new prospect as he was.

Owen was very confused but when Amelia lifted her eyes and stared at him looking more fragile and vulnerable than he'd ever seen her, he realized that was just the beginning.

"Do you want the baby?" she asked with a sheepish voice, reaching out for his hand, as if afraid of his answer. "I know it's not what you had planned right now."

Owen looked at her hand, fiercely holding onto his and then into her eyes, trying to make sense of what she was asking.

"Do I want the baby?" he frowned, confused. "What do you mean, do I want the baby, of course I want the baby, Amelia…!" he dropped the ultrasound machine and held her in his arms, coming closer and he intensified his stare so she could see he meant what he was saying. "I want _you_ and the baby. What are you even saying… How could I…"

When she broke down crying with what look like relief, Owen's eyes grew wider in alarm and for a second, he had no idea what to do. But when he noticed Amelia really was anguished about the situation, he didn't hesitate before standing up and wrapping his arms around her.

"Amelia," Owen pulled apart just enough to look into her eyes, seeing they were drowning in tears. The way she looked so broken absolutely destroyed him. "What are you asking me, exactly?" he rubbed the side of her face with his thumb affectionately, expecting her to be as honest with him as she had been in the past few weeks.

His wife bit her lower lip in a mix of embarrassment, guilt, and insecurity. Owen gave her an encouraging half smile, hoping she would open her heart.

"It's just that I… When I told you I thought I was pregnant, I thought you'd be happy," she confessed. "I thought this is what you wanted."

"This is what I want more than anything else I've ever wanted in my life," Owen let her know.

"But you didn't celebrate it," Amelia's voice faltered and she felt embarrassed for feeling like she was demanding something of him when she had no right to.

Owen furrowed his brows, trying to process the meaning of her words. She was opening her heart to him and being honest. The least he could do was to do the same.

"I wasn't sure if I should," he admitted. When he saw she hadn't understood him, Owen hurried to explain. "You see, I didn't know if _you_ wanted it," he exposed, gazing at her with what he hoped was comprehension instead of judgment. "I still don't," Owen confessed. "And it would be very hard for me to take such immense joy out something that would make me so happy but bring you more pain than happiness. What I've always dreamed of is for us both to want it... I thought you did too. But then everything happened," he paused, taking a breath. Amelia knew he was talking about the way she'd left home after their pregnancy scare and how their marriage had derailed from there on. Never again had they ever brought up the baby issue and it was long overdue. "I know the news caught us off guard and I know it's a lot to process but I am here for it, Amelia. I am here for it and for you. I want this baby and I want you," he held her face between his hands, looking deeply into her eyes. "You two are everything I've ever wanted. Not just the baby," he suggestively placed his hand on her lower abdomen. "But you too," Owen breathed out, whispering in her ear at the same time he pulled her into an embrace. "I want us to be together. I want us to be in this as a family."

Amelia held onto him with force, wondering if Owen had any idea how much it meant to her to hear what he was saying.

"I want that too," she wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on the tip of her toes to make up for their height difference. "I am so done being sad, Owen. I want us to be happy… I want us to have everything we planned," Amelia knew they were locked in an exam room in the middle of a workday, but she didn't care. A lot of doubts and questions were running through her head, and she still had a million _what if_ s that probably wouldn't let her sleep anytime soon. But to know that she had Owen there, come what may, was all the reassurance she needed at that moment. "We're having a baby," she broke apart and looked into his eyes, smiling with sheer joy between heavy tears.

Owen chuckled, unable to believe that was actually happening. He wanted to scream, shout, laugh, hold her and never let go, all at the same time.

"We're having a baby," he repeated, almost as unable to believe it.

"Are you sure you saw it?" Amelia asked with a lighthearted tone. "I mean, I think I saw it too, but I…"

"I am not a radiologist but it was there, I saw it," Owen interrupted her, frowning. "We should probably get a proper exam scheduled, though. Just to see if everything checks out."

"Yeah, we should," Amelia agreed, unable to stop smiling. She loved how he'd said "we" instead of "you". The little subtitles in Owen made the entire difference and she loved him for them. "You know what, we should also work. I just realized I have a department to run. It's almost noon and I haven't begun my day upstairs yet."

Owen reluctantly let her go. He wasn't sure how he was going to focus on anything else other than the amazing news he'd just found out that morning, but the trauma surgeon was sure he was going to figure something out. Not only Amelia was pregnant with his child, but she was also fully on board with the idea of building a future with him. The two of them still had a lot to process but it felt like a new chapter of their lives was just about to begin and even though it seemed sudden and fast, at the same time it felt like it was long overdue. And Owen couldn't wait for it.

.

When Amelia went home from the hospital that evening, she had a million questions running through her head. Once again, she was driving through the familiar streets that led to the house she'd spent the past weeks in. What would that pregnancy mean for she and Owen going forward? Even before Amelia had found out about it, the neurosurgeon was aware that'd be just a matter of time before she fully moved out of Meredith's house back in with Owen again. Right now, it just felt like she had the best motivation to speed things up.

She thought back about the way Owen had held back right after she'd told him about her suspicion and her heart constricted inside her chest. It made perfect sense now… He wanted to be happy about it because just like she'd anticipated, having a baby was one of the things Owen longed for the most. But he had been disappointed so many times before that it was obvious he'd guard his heart this time and not build his hopes up again until he knew for sure what he should actually expect.

There was just so much to process… As Amelia parked the car in the garage, she took her hand to her lower abdomen, instinctively trying to protect what she didn't even know yet but already loved more than life itself. God, she just hoped everything worked out this time around. She wasn't sure she would be able to cope with another loss.

It was still early in the evening and she found the house empty. A couple of hours later, Owen arrived and the big smile on his face when he came through the door vanished every doubt Amelia could still have about whether or not he was excited about this. It was quite obvious now that Owen was having a hard time hiding just how absolutely delighted he was.

"So I was thinking," he started, insisting that she just relaxed and let him prepare dinner. Amelia had a feeling that for the next months, she would have to remind him she was not in an invalid state but rather, simply pregnant. "Last time we thought about turning the office into a nursery, right? I mean, I suggested it. But I was thinking maybe we could just have the baby in our room with us for the time being… maybe until he or she is done waking up every couple of hours. Just so we won't have to go from room to room in the middle of the night," he kindly proposed.

"Okay," Amelia agreed with a smile, even though she hadn't really given it much thought. The brightness in his eyes as he spoke about it and went on making further plans completely captivated her attention and she couldn't focus on anything else. To see Owen so into that new experience and realize she wasn't alone in it made her completely in awe.

They had dinner still making plans and trying to discuss the changes that the new addition would cause in their lives. Owen noticed how he was doing most of the talking, but even though she was acting uncharacteristically introverted and guarded, Amelia seemed genuinely on board with the ideas he was suggesting. He could tell by the smile on her face that the idea of being a mom filled her heart with love and excitement, but at the same time, Owen could catch a glimpse of sadness lingering in the back of her eyes while they discussed the subject and that broke his heart. He couldn't stand seeing her in pain. Especially because Owen had an idea, but didn't fully know what was behind it.

But now it was time he understood it better.

He and Amelia were starting something amazing together and he didn't want anything else standing on their way. Owen wanted them to be completely honest with each other and he knew she felt the same way. He wanted Amelia to know she could trust him for anything, and he also knew that in order to understand her better, it would do them good if he could fit every piece of the puzzle together.

The trauma surgeon on purpose waited until they went to sleep that night. Amelia lingered on the bathroom to brush her teeth, but once she came out and crawled in bed next to him, very suggestively leaning over to give him a peck on the lips and initiate something, Owen gently held her shoulders, keeping her within his grasp instead.

"I want to ask you something," he started, not giving her the chance to protest. "And before I do, let me just say that it's okay if you don't want to talk about this now. We can wait until you want to… I would very much like to know, but if you feel like you don't ever want to bring up this subject, it's okay too… I am going to respect that," he said, looking into her eyes so she could see he meant it.

Amelia found the seriousness in his tone of voice quite strange. She had been preparing herself to celebrate with him the amazing discovery they'd just made that day. His somber expression contrasted completely with what she expected.

"Owen, what is it?" Amelia asked with concern, trying to find the answer in his eyes.

The dim lights inside the room weren't helping her vision much, but at the same time, they were enhancing Amelia's every other sense. She felt the touch of Owen's hand on her skin as he adjusted in bed, sitting up straight before asking with a low, caring voice.

"I am asking you about your son."

Amelia wasn't really expecting the subject to be brought up and her initial reaction was a mix of surprise and heartbreak at the mention of the subject. Owen noticed how she broke eye contact with him, apparently trying to process his question and maybe even think of what to say. He didn't want to force her into a topic she didn't feel comfortable discussing, but at the same time, he felt like it would be good for them if Amelia trusted him with the details of her past. He wondered if she ever discussed it with someone and if there was one thing he'd learned was that storing feelings, pain especially, could backfire in the worst possible way. It was better to let it all out. And if she could do with someone she felt comfortable with, who loved her… that should make an impossible situation a little less difficult. He'd learned that when Amelia had comforted him right after he'd found out about his sister being found alive.

"I know you lost a child but we never really talked much about this and… Well, I just figured that now, with us expecting a baby it would bring up all these painful memories that you probably try to forget," he added, rubbing her arm affectionately. Amelia finally turned her head back and when their gazes met, Owen noticed that her eyes had accumulated heavy tears in mere seconds. The realization made him feel horrible about his resolve. Wondering if he just wasn't being selfish, he hurried to add. "You know what, I am sorry I brought it up. It was very insensitive of me, I shouldn't be speaking about such a personal, difficult subject in a moment like this," Owen saw she was in pain and immediately regretted putting her through all those memories again. "We can focus on-"

"He died the day he was born," Amelia interrupted him, biting her lower lip to stop herself from crying. She'd barely begun but her throat already felt clogged. But she didn't regret speaking. No matter how excruciating those memories were, she couldn't describe how grateful she was that Owen had asked. Because deep down, she felt like she should have shared this with him long before and yet it was too hard for her to talk about it. Being a private, quiet guy, Owen had never really asked about it either and sometimes, Amelia wondered how much he was sparing her or how much he just didn't understand or didn't care. To consider he might lack interest had always hurt her, so to hear him asking about it meant more to her than he could ever imagine. "He was… he was born with anencephaly."

Owen frowned, taken by absolute surprise. He knew Amelia's child had lived briefly but he had no idea what the cause of death had been. Even though he had never really stopped to think about it, he had just assumed her baby had been born prematurely and hadn't made it because of that.

"Amelia, I am so sorry," he held her closer, making the connections. If Amelia had lost a child in that condition, it made a lot of sense she would fear getting something similar again in a future pregnancy. "I can't imagine how that must have been like…" he confessed, looking into her eyes. "Was the father the man you told me about?"

Amelia nodded with her head, knowing Owen was talking about the time they were on that same bed and she had shared different confessions with him. At that time, they had made plans not to wait anymore and have a baby. A rollercoaster of events had happened in between. But now, everything they had dreamed of was finally coming true.

"Yes," Amelia confirmed it, feeling the first tear rolling down her cheek at the memory of how difficult it had been for her to go through the pregnancy. "He died without knowing about it. I only found out that I was pregnant in my fifth month. It was very hard coming to terms with it," she said. "But then what came afterwards was insanely harder."

In the following minutes, Amelia took her time detailing to Owen what she'd been through and how she'd had her baby and fought to donate his organs. He listened very attentively, holding her in his arms through the entire time. The look on his face and the security of his embrace made Amelia feel more compelled to open her heart than she'd ever felt.

She didn't remember crying that much in a long time. When Amelia was done sharing her memories, she then confessed all her reservations about a new pregnancy. And once Owen knew more about her past, he was finally able to fully make sense of her behavior during the entire past year.

"Sweetheart, I am so, so sorry," he kissed her head, feeling awful about the way he'd treated her before. "I wish I knew this before. If I'd known this, I never would have…"

"Don't," Amelia smiled amongst her tears, touching her forehead to his. "You forgave me, and I forgave you, remember? We are done with the mistakes and the guilt, and all that. It was you who said it," she closed her eyes and nudged her nose against his, smiling with renewed optimism. Owen let out a long breath, struggling to forgive himself just like he'd encouraged her to forgive herself once. "You know what's the best thing about me being pregnant this time around? What's making the entire difference now?" she asked, opening her eyes to meet his.

"What?" Owen asked with a hoarse voice.

"You," she said with a girlish smile that completely stole his heart. "You are," Amelia repeated, moving closer to sit between his legs. "Because I know you're here and you want this baby like I do and that makes me happier than you can imagine," she grasped Owen's fingers and took his hand to her lower abdomen. It was still flat and none of them could feel a thing. But the vibration coming from their bodies was hard to miss and more powerful than any of them could ever have imagined. "What are you doing?" she laughed when Owen swiftly dipped his finger in her bellybutton.

"I am holding hands with the baby," he smiled at her. It was such a silly, proud smile that it made Amelia giggle. "It's a family hug."

Amelia threw her head back in a fit of laughter. Owen was so enchanted with the idea of being a father that it was utterly adorable how he simply couldn't hide it. She covered his hand with hers and idly played with his fingers between her own before asking while lost in thought.

"What are your expectations?"

"What do you mean?" Owen retorted, still focused on her inexistent baby bump.

"For the baby…" Amelia tried to explain. "How do you think he or she is going to be like?" she bit her bottom lip, containing her excitement. "Do you think they will be calm or naughty? Will they take after you or me? I just keep thinking about what kind of personality the baby will have and how exciting it will be for us to find out and see it taking shape… I know it's soon but…"

Owen met her gaze and smiled widely in return. He knew exactly what she meant.

"I was wondering the same things," Owen confessed, looking into her eyes with a mirthful smile. Amelia chuckled with delight. That was a detail about a pregnancy that was entirely new to her too. She felt happy and grateful that she could share that with him.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" she asked with a teasing smile, knowing it was an impossible question.

Owen looked at her with glowing eyes, drowning in love.

"Are you really going to let me have a say in things?" he playfully kissed the side of her neck, watching with pleasure as it caused her tickles. "Because if you leave it up to me, I will say I wanted the opposite of what we're getting," he looked into her very mischievously, "just so you think I am disappointed and then I get you pregnant again," Owen concluded, with a pretend serious expression. "We can do it once a year."

Amelia cracked up laughing, not doubting for a second that he meant exactly what he was saying.

"Once a year?" she raised her eyebrows, trying to sound horrified.

Amelia didn't notice that her previous desire to seduce Owen into making love with her was long forgotten. For now, she was too satisfied and focused on lying beside him in bed, listening to the steady beats of his heart as she rested her head on his chest and he caressed her back while they made random plans for what was about to come. And she took satisfaction exactly in hearing what their daughter or son might turn out to be like or not.

.

Over the course of the following weeks, Amelia set up her consults of pre natal care. On the following week, she scheduled an ultrasound appointment with a technician, in which Owen was present, and much to their surprise they found out she was carrying not one, but two babies.

The news took them completely off guard and Amelia imagined she'd never forget the look on his face when they discovered they were having twins. It was as if Owen was so happy that nothing could ever make him sad or disappointed again in a lifetime. His excitement was contagious and soon enough, Amelia saw herself embarking on his plans to renovate the house. As it turned out, they had to turn the office into a nursery to accommodate better their newest family additions.

Even though Amelia was still terrified that something might be wrong like the last time she was pregnant, not only she knew that chances of recurrence were low, this time around she also had a lot of distraction to keep her busy. Every day she would come home from work and join Owen, be it for a shopping trip for a new project or just for staying at home cooking dinner. His presence and his support were comforting, reassuring and soothing. Whenever Amelia had doubts or her pregnancy symptoms got particularly bad, he was there for her.

A couple of times, she had to admit she felt pretty bad for taking out on him the result of her crazy hormones getting the best of her but Owen never took it personally. Like the time she'd accused him of not caring enough about her just because Owen had changed the bed sheets to a set she didn't particularly like.

When Amelia was around her fourteenth week, she was finally able to put her biggest fear to rest when, through a sonogram, it was confirmed that none of her children suffered from the same condition as her first son. During the scan, Owen held her hand tighter, knowing this was probably the moment she'd been dreading and fearing the most.

"Owen, look at them," Amelia smiled, feeling like she was suppressing a giggle. "They are both perfect," her vision got blurry through the tears. "They are so perfect!"

"They are," Owen looked back at her, unable to believe what he was seeing either.

It was still too early to tell the babies' sexes and since there were two placentas, there was the chance that they were non identical twins. Amelia didn't really have any preferences but she was so anxious to find out that she could barely wait any longer.

The neurosurgeon shared the news with Maggie and Meredith on the same day that she finally finished packing the rest of her stuff from her sister in law's house. As expected, both women were thrilled for her.

A few months later, on a warm Thursday afternoon, Amelia gave birth first to a girl and then a boy. It wasn't until she saw their healthy little faces and counted the fingers and toes on each of their hands and feet that she actually believed they were real and perfect and absolutely wonderful, in a way she couldn't have imagined in her wildest dreams.

The sleepless nights that followed fell short in contrast to the fulfillment and happiness that both Owen and Amelia took from being with the babies. They had quickly become the center of their parents' universe and both adults didn't regret it one bit.

"Look, it's dad," Amelia whispered to the fussy baby in her arms. Her daughter was still breastfeeding, but at the sound of her voice immediately opened her eyes. She was with the babies inside the bedroom but had heard the sound of Owen arriving at home.

"Hey," Owen entered the room with a low voice, trying to be discreet. It was past nine and he knew there was a big chance both babies were asleep. At six weeks old, they would still wake up in regular hours to be fed, but the twins were relatively calm and didn't usually cry unless they were hungry or needed to be changed. "Hey princess," he gave his daughter a kiss on the forehead, enchanted when she looked at him with her big blue eyes. "How are things today?" Owen looked at Amelia, gently placing a lock of hair behind her shoulder.

"As good as usual," Amelia replied with a satisfied smile. She was still on maternity leave. Even though she missed work, she didn't plan going back to the hospital for a while, at least until the twins were old enough that they didn't need to be exclusively breastfed. "Can you take her?" the neurosurgeon asked, carefully moving the baby from her arms to Owen. "My bladder is going to burst," she chuckled, hurrying to the bathroom.

Owen took the baby and didn't resist breathing her in. Babies just smelled so damn good. His babies especially. And his daughter was gorgeous. No matter what anyone else said or what other parents thought, he was convinced that his daughter was the most perfect little girl on the planet.

He settled her in his arms in a standing position, giving the baby gentle, soothing pats on her back as he took a step to the cradle inside the bedroom so he could check on his sleeping son. He was the second born, but within weeks his boy had grown to be bigger than his sister.

"Wow, so this is what walking around the house without carrying a human being in my arms feels like," Amelia said in a lighthearted tone when she made her way back, drying her hands in a towel.

Owen looked at her with a smile. In the quick space of a few months, Amelia had become the most amazing mother he'd ever seen. Not only she was caring, affectionate and put their children's well being above everything else, she was selflessly doing one hell of a job taking care of two babies at once. At first, he'd taken a couple of weeks off work to help, but ever since Owen had come back to the hospital, she would spend the majority of days alone with the twins and not once had she complained about it.

"I feel bad that I can't help out more," Owen sighed, watching as the baby in his arms quickly fell asleep.

"One of us has to work," Amelia grinned, teasing him. "It won't be me," she smiled, knowing that if he could, Owen would love to spend more time with her and the twins at home.

"That's unfair," Owen retorted, pretending to be offended. He couldn't keep his act much longer though and soon enough, both he and Amelia burst out laughing.

"Come here, I want to show you something," she insisted.

Owen gently placed their daughter next to their son on the cradle and tucked her in. The twins liked snuggling together and their parents loved encouraging it. Once he was done, he turned around to find Amelia going through the closet and looked over her shoulder.

"What's up?" he asked, narrowing his eyes to try and see it. "What are you doing?"

"Got it!" she finally gave him her attention, keeping her hands closed around something. "I was taking some time to unpack some boxes while the twins were sleeping this afternoon…"

"Because you're not busy enough already, right?" Owen interrupted her with a playful smile.

Amelia didn't say anything about his teasing remark but grinned and carried on with her explanation.

"And I found this in the box of things that I'd brought from my drawers at Meredith's," she bit her lower lip, adorably nervous about something. When she finally exposed what she'd been holding on the palm of her hand, Owen understood why. It was the wedding band that had once been on his finger. "I was wondering if… you know…" she looked up from the object to his eyes with a mix of embarrassment and love in her smile.

"If I want to put this back on?" Owen smiled widely at her, obviously on board with the idea.

"Yeah," Amelia agreed. "If you want to marry me."

He laughed, delighted and wrapped one arm around her waist at the same time he gave her his free hand so she could slide the wedding ring back on.

"I am already married to you," he reminded her. They had never gotten divorced and for the past months, they had been living together like a married couple. The formalities were already taken care of. The only thing they hadn't actually done was talking about it.

"Yeah, but I want to know if you want to be married to me _forever_ ," Amelia held his face between her hands, kissing the smile on his lips.

"Forever?" Owen raised an eyebrow, unable to stop smiling.

"That means you can't ever take it off," she explained with an adorable grin. "Ever."

"I do," Owen said with conviction, pulling her closer. "Forever, then."

"Well, where the hell is _my_ wedding ring, then?" Amelia complained, playfully grabbing the collar of his shirt in pretend retaliation. "I put all this effort into being romantic and you…"

"I sold it," Owen joked, trying not to laugh at the instant frown on her forehead. "Since you're not working, I figured we could use the extra cash," he made an effort to keep a straight face. "It was twenty four carat gold."

"Silly," Amelia pouted, knowing he was just messing with her.

"Come on, let's go get it," Owen suggested but didn't let go of her waist. Instead, he led the way, gently guiding her in his arms.

Once he finally placed the wedding ring back on her finger, Amelia smiled with utter contentment. That past year had been one hell of a ride. Not only had she found out about a brain tumor and it had nearly destroyed her marriage, it had also served as a chance to start over and realize that some of the answers she needed didn't lie in the tumor, but within herself.

Amelia was deeply grateful for everything she had accomplished. Right after she and Owen had decided to separate, never would she have imagined that they would be standing where they were today. But after a long road, here they were. Just like the first time, it had been work that had brought them closer together. It was thanks to her husband's help that she had been able to take forward an ambitious project that had once saved the life of a little girl who meant a lot to Amelia and that now, helped to save lives of many other patients across the country who came looking for her.

Amelia's career was skyrocketing. Her husband had believed in her and encouraged her. She knew she was a great surgeon, and whenever she commented with him that her newest project was soaring and she was grateful for his help, Owen would say that since she was the one doing all the work, the credit was entirely hers. But Amelia was humble enough to admit that Owen had had a great participation in that. His Polymer idea had been the seed that she'd needed to come up with the many roots and branches that now gave her recognition and a lot of satisfaction in her job. They were a great team together. And not just at work.

Because at home, once they'd partnered up, something even bigger and a thousand times more amazing had happened. Looking at her twin babies, Amelia knew that no professional accomplishment in the world would ever come nearly as close as making her as happy as those two little babies did. Her family was her everything.

If on one hand, Amelia couldn't fully credit Owen for the success of her career, she was absolutely sure that her personal life had never been better either. Except this time, Amelia could safely say that her husband was entirely to account for.


End file.
